Big sister by Tony Szabo

You were ten when I came into the world
Looking after me and keeping me safe
We had a special bond over the years
Then you grew up and life and marriage got in the way
We drifted apart
But luckily in our old age, we found each other again
Enjoyed each other's company
Lots of stories were told of long ago
Until this dementia set in and these days were gone also
Hard to take when you did not know me anymore
But had all those lovely memories
Rest in peace BIG SISTER
Lots of love Tony xxx

16th January 1930 to 1st August 2019

August 2019

Dear Aunty Roza

Dear Aunty Roza
My dear dad's elder sister
I wish I knew you better
Is it too late to write this letter?

You came across the seas
With your hubby; 3 young sons
Travelled with your younger brother
His pregnant wife; my mother
His young son; my brother
Leaving behind your family
So far away in Hungary...

Australia became your new home
You worked hard to feed your family
Just like my own dear mother too
Here you put down roots
Worked hard in your rubber boots
I remember your working winery
On top of the hill between Moorook 
And Kingston-on-Murray
We lived there for a little while
In a shed out the back
In my vaguest memory...
The wood stove kept us warm
Our beanies we heated there
Along with those green peas
Still in their pods; so yummy
Then we moved to our own property
Out back of Moorook; on Schenscher Road
I loved my old almond tree
My favourite place among the grapevines
We visited often when i was young
Not so much as I grew and left the area
Now you and mum and dad are gone
But never forgotten...
Resting in peace upon this soil
No longer do you need to toil
God bless your souls

Rest in Peace dear Aunty Roza Szabados
16th January 1930- 1st August 2019

What do I see

A few stray hairs
Pulled out of my brush
Into the bathroom sink
I looked; amazed...
Art was created
Without even a blush

I saw a chimp wearing cap and glasses!
Laughing out loud!

22 July 2019

Happy Birthday Shelley 2019

30 years ago today
At 6:20 am Wednesday
You came to stay
I love you, my darling girl
You are my world
Just want you to know
You made my heart grow
Hope you have the best day
This sunny June day!

28th June 2019

The missing

I’m missing you today 

It’s really hard to say

Because time flies this way

My darlings I am sad

Wish it wasn’t just so bad

Love you mum and dad 

Thank God for all those 

Wonderful times we had 

Lost

Am I lost? 

Losing ground...

Struggling 

Anger abounds 

God help me 

I cried out loud 

Help me please 

I cannot go on 

Unsent letter

Today I started writing 

A letter I probably won’t send 

Full of pain and longing 

Written: but to what end 

To my daughter I was writing 

Maybe: never to be seen

Words filled with pain; anguish

I had to empty out; vent my spleen

These words; if kept within me 

Would fester; cause more pain

So I had to put to paper 

These feelings I must explain 

If I allow these feelings to linger 

If I swallow down this gall

Only I will suffer; hurt; malinger 

Only I will surely fall

Release this boiling anger 

Diffuse this inner frustration; again

Peace of mind; is my first aim

For truth to tell; I do suffer...

I must release this pressure 

I must feel free of all this pain