Boardwalk beasts

Had to laugh; a few weeks ago
Was walking out; don't you know
It took my fancy to laugh a bit
As I was feeling sad; no doubting it
Mum's anniversary was coming up
Sadness welled up inside my heart
I tried so hard to get over it
These silly faces finally did the trick
I saw birds and odd creatures; true
Made me smile; made my day; strewth
I was actually grinning from ear to ear
As I walked along the boardwalk; hu hu
Thank you Lord for lightening my load
Felt much better as I walked the road
A little silliness saved the day
And I smiled as I went on my way

 24 December 2017

The edge of the sea

I love being at the edge of the sea
For here I rest; peacefully
Listening in to the breath of life
That comes from the earth
As she sighs and cries
For you and for me...

20/1/2016

Mickey junior

The pup was stillborn
After Kessie delivered
The placenta before him
I showed Mickey his son
He licked his face
Tried to wake him
By pulling at his fur
Licking him constantly
For a few minutes
It was precious to see
My beautiful pet
Trying desperately
To wake his newborn son

From late 1990's

6/1/2016

Elfy's picture of grandma

Elfy drew a picture of grandma
After seeing her being treated
By the ambulance crew
Seeing our distress
She said...
"Grandma is sleeping
She's not hurting now!"
5/9/2016

Lizards sunning

So many snakes and lizards

Out sunning themselves

In the glorious spring weather

The copperhead was dead

Saw many bearded dragons

Sunning themselves as well

Upon posts; in their little territories

Some smooth and shiny too

From the recent shedding 

Of their dried old dusty skins

11 October 2017

Poor little seahorse

Poor little seahorse
Washed up upon the shore
Wish I could have known you 
when you were alive; and more

Poor little seahorse
Lying stiff and cold
Wish I could have held you
Sent you back; alive; to your home

14 October 2017

My better half by Sandor Szabo

Dad told me about his love for mum
"My better half" He said
"Not many man have had
Such a wonderful wife as I have had...
Roza never complained...
Through good times and through bad
She worked so very hard...
Mum was the glue that held our family together...

Roza Szabo (Szekeres) 
24/6/1938 to 28/12/2016

Memories of mum

Mum used to get up at 5:30 am
She would light the wood stove
To make creamed rice or semolina
For our breakfast; before we left  for school
She worked alongside dad; labouring 
In the grape harvest; picking oranges
Picking peas for old Mr Schields; across the road
Planting and harvesting tomatoes
Cutting apricots at Harrington's shed
And later at our own cutting shed
She packed oranges for export and local markets
At Moorook Co-operative packing shed
Cooking for our family and taking care of us
Was a very important part of her life
In our cutting shed; mum always provided
Morning and afternoon tea for every worker
She would get up very early 
To make thermos' full of hot black tea
Sandwiches of cheese and Vegemite
Or of tomato, onion and capsicum
Her honey biscuits were the best!
Her cooking was the best!
Almost right up to the end
She cooked one meal everyday
Only in her last few months did she cease
When it all became too much...

Thank you my darling for your dedication
Thank you for your precious love
I pray now that you are resting 
In God's precious arms; above...

Copperhead

Copperhead
Lying flattened; dead
Upon the empty road

Seemingly asleep
Curled up in a little heap
Such a shame you're gone

Upside down

My life has been turned 
Upside down...
Inside out...
Feel like I need 
To scream and shout
I am woman
Hear me roar
Sick of feeling hurt
Need to even the score
Tell my side of this tale
Allow myself to finally heal
Escape from all this terrible abuse
Make no excuse
I am finally free from your spell
I finally get to say
"What the hell!"
Leave me alone
Let me heal
I am finally able to feel
Stronger than I've ever been
I have found sweet release
My faith has been rewarded
A man has come to see me accorded
Peace of mind; from my fragility
I now have the ability 
To escape my bonds
I am free to be the real me
Someone who allows me to say my piece
Allows me to discover this inner me
No longer hiding fearfully
Deep within this tortured soul
Happiness is now my only goal
I am finally; truly at peace...

I shouldn't have to

I shouldn't have to...
Ask how you are...
Wait for days and weeks...
Before I find out how you all are
Remind you...
Listen to all your bullshit...
Take all your disrespect...

24/4/2017

Lover's embrace

Softly sighing
Whispers; crying 
My soul flying 
In my lover's embrace

My heart singing
Emotions bringing
Me too soaring point
In my lover's embrace

26/9/2017

The musician

The musician listens
Imagines; dreams
Orchestrates...
Instruments; his muses
Sounds of nature; used
Serenaded; within his head
Dreams it all; in his bed...

17/1/2017

The sculptor

The sculptor works in reverse
Chipping away at the old block
From solid marble; heavy; perverse
Working tirelessly against the clock
Until the figure emerges...
Comes to life
Beneath the knife
Of hammer and chisel
Marble versus steel
Through touch; feel
Senses over-riding 
Bringing about 
The inner beauty
Of character
Statue's
Breathing 
Emanating 
Weaving the artist's feelings
Into life...

26/7/2017

Jesus' gift

If it wasn't for Him
I would be lost
If it wasn't for His gift
He paid my cost
I am thankful for it all
Yes indeed, He is my all

After the storm July 2017

After the storm has passed
Peace; silence reigned at last
The winds of yester-evening 
That turned into those icy blasts
Had gone their way; hooray I say
I didn't sleep a wink last night 
Watched time go ticking slowly by
Knew that storm clouds covered the sky
Listened through that long, stormy night 
Rocked by the waves; hidden from sight 
Senses wide awake to every little sound
Though I feared not; ears strained
Listening to the ropes creaking; groaning 
From 3 am until early dawn...
Lay; drowsing; yet awake
At 5 am we dared to
Open up our doors; quietly paused
Myriad stars covered the still night sky
Milky Way, dusted above us
Orion's belt; Hyades; Pleiades too
To the east arose...

I'm telling you...
Amazing stormy end to 2017 July

Hypothermia

August waters; cold as ice
Seemingly pleasant
Beneath a pale winter sun
Jumped in; voluntarily you know
Set to retrieve; as I believed
It would be fun...
Shock struck; at my whole being 
As I sank beneath the flow
Pain erupted throughout
God I know; couldn't breathe...
As needles of ice: surprised
My skin tingled everywhere
Could not dive beneath
Panic almost set in
Dog paddled; gasped in
Shallow breaths of air
Frantically tried to cope
As I reached for the rope
With the long pole I probed
Couldn't touch the bottom
Was so out of my depth...
Tried to swim to the duck board
Clamber out...
Couldn't lift my cold body out...
Tried the steps at the pier
God help me: frozen in fear
My body; mind clouded
Muscles frozen; clumsy too
Hypothermia setting in...
Cold water freezes bodies
25 times faster than cold air
Managed to grab hold
Pull myself slowly up
Stuck half way; couldn't move
Felt I'd fall back in
That hellish icy drink
Couldn't move; could barely think 
Panic; again; my enemy drew near...
Your lowered hand; I grabbed at
Desperately; thankful; you were there
Finally; I floundered out
Bruised; battered; bleeding 
Cold, red and raw
Skin tingling; dulled senses
Fingers clawed...

3/8/2017

Physical touch

When something is missing 
In their lives
Daddy was cold and distant
Mummy just seemed to stare
Too many days: wasted
Too many years: simply existed
Too little love given
Too little care...

Conditioned

Without realising it
We are all 'conditioned'
By our world...
By our surroundings...
By our family...
By our friends...
It all depends upon
What we allow...

As children we are taught 
"Conditioned"
Told how to act
How to behave
Mind your manners
Tell the truth
Do as I say
Constant reproof

At school
Sit down and listen
Stop talking 
Sit still
Do as I say
Learn this
Learn that 

As a woman
Under the thumb
Conditioned to behave
Taught to act
Like a slave
He says; Do as I say
Every single day

Horse training
Conditioned to the rein
Conditioned to the saddle
Conditioned to the bit
Conditioned to the weight 
It all depends upon 
How low the person sits

In the military
A person is broken
By control
Can't even blow your nose
When you're on patrol

In the prison camp
Demoralised
Starved
Despised
Beaten down
Can barely stand

Break their spirit
Break them down
Make them take notice
Establish your dominance
Make them feel like they're nothing
Don't have the right to be heard
Impressed upon them
That what you say is...
Correct and should be followed

After all these years I am still in thrall
Yes; you still control me from the grave
But from now on I will have to fight 
Yes; I must continue; I must be brave...

Green beetle

Green beetle; hurtling through the skies
Tumbling wildly; wondering why?
Why should you be falling down; I vow!
You didn't know your purpose; I trow
Until you crawled upon my hand
Hearing my laughter; my delight 
I needed some distraction...
Needed something; someone to be kind
So much trouble had been brewing 
I was slowly going out of my mind...

August 2017

A fear in the belly

Was sitting; watching a movie
Just the beginning
An angry man; in trouble
Home after a night out
Drunken; loud...
Blood upon his clothes
Wife was wondering
What was wrong
Tension rose; baby cried
Angry words...
Too well acted; for my liking 
My belly tightened
As she and the baby
Tried to escape...
He was in the shower
Cleaning up...
They got into the car...
Mother and child
He was coming 
Eyes so wild...

Fear; pain; all over again
My girls were very young 
Just six and two...
Those times were bad
I'm telling you 
Angry time; full of fear
Nasty words
Spat with hate...
I got into the car...
With my girls...
No time to secure them
In their safety seats
Had to get away; escape
Had to retreat...

1992

Cure for Cholesterol and high Blood Pressure

1 clove grated garlic
1 piece grated ginger
1 teaspoon honey
1 tablespoon Apple cider vinegar
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
Place in blender for 30 seconds
Strain
Into fridge for 5 days

Take one tablespoon 2 times a day
Morning: on an empty stomach
Night:before last meal

It's just the wind

It's after 4 am
The wind is picking up
There's a rustling in the trees
Thought I heard a knocking?
Was it just a dream?
Noises keep returning 
Is it just Kachiiri?
Wanting to come in
It comes again
Waking me up for sure
I am still half asleep
What is going on?
I get up to check it out
The door is open wide
Moving to and fro
In this gusty breeze
It's okay...It's just the wind
Causing me to jump
Causing me to wake
I close the door
And slowly return to slumber...

11/11/2014

Thunder and lightning

Thunder and lightning overhead
Was trying to sleep in my bed
Had to check it out
Had to take a look
It was fantastic; amazing 
Those tiny rain drops
Falling upon my head
Cool change finally came
Thank God...
Cos I've had enough
This heatwave was such a pain
But now it is over...
Until another comes our way
Could be just the same.....

7/12/2015

Sixth sense

My sixth sense is very strong
I always know when something is wrong
I am caring, warm, emotional too
I always know when someone needs help; don't you?
I love helping people; whether I know them or not
Getting them out of strife; like as not
My sixth sense comes in handy; all the time
I get a strange feeling in my gut
Especially when my loved ones are in pain
I know just when I am needed
This gut feeling must be heeded
When someone is in trouble
I am on my way on any day...

Green eyes

Your green eyes decree
You love passionately
The colour decries your sincerity
You are gentle; loyal too
Friends appreciate your reliability
Your kindness knows no bounds
Yet as a leader you will not be found
Enemies don't like your integrity
Nor your resolution; my dear
In these they have reason to fear
In your loving eyes I see
The perfect loving man for me...

Precious little girl

My precious little angel
My sweet little girl
Wish I could hold and kiss you
So far away...
On the other side of the world
How I miss your giggles
How I miss your curls
Yes my precious darling
My grand daughter...
My little girl...

7/12/2017

Eye of the beholder

Through the eye of the beholder
The vision grows my son
Beauty that glows from within
Is that which must be won
What you see inside her
What emanates; comes on through
Is the greatest beauty
Worth its weight in gold; true
For your eyes only to behold
This is the love I wish for you...

25/03/2017

All I want for Christmas

This year I want something new
No gift wrapped presents
These I eschew
No fancy things
Tied up in strings
No money spent; it's true
I would have the simple things
That money cannot bring
A family meal
Hearing children squeal
Sunshine on my face
Feeling my mum's embrace
A whispered message
From you; my love from you
All I want for Christmas 
Is you...

15/12/2017

Changes

Making changes to my life
Up-dating; evaluating; re-assessing
Seeking solace; fleeing strife
Got to count all my blessings
Ignore the hurtful things that sting
I am reminded of life's fragility
Dear mum's gone; here's the thing 
We must all use our best abilities
To accept that life must change
"Tables are meant for turning
People are bound to change
Bridges are meant for burning"
As Jim Croce so well explained
Children grow up and leave us
Life will never be the same
But let us still love each other
For no-one is really to blame
Tomorrow comes for each of us
No matter how hard we try
We cannot outrun our future
Somethings cannot be re-arranged...

16/12/2017

Flowers for mum

Bought some flowers for my mum
Bright, blood red carnations
Placed them at the graveside
Of another mother; of my best chum
So lovely to be sharing
Our love; devotion; caring...
Spent a few minutes crying 
Opened up those floodgates; ah mum
I'm still so sad at your dying...
I needed to release the pressure
Needed to spend a little time; talking 
With you; ah God; how I miss you!
Wish I could hug; kiss you...
Yes; I really miss you
My darling mum...

9/1/2018

A fool such as I

I guess we wander through
Never realising what we do
Until it comes around to haunt us
In those words we spew
In the very actions we choose
How often do we wonder?
About the consequences...
About those telling signs...
We often simply ignore...
Until fate evens the score!
Did we give too much?
Spoiled the child and such?
Think we were above it?
Think we could out-love it?
Those sad circumstances...
Those bad disturbances...
That hamper each and every one
Life's uncertainties...
Did we actually overcome them?
Or do they simply linger deep?
Within that black hole...
Where we had to place them...
Waiting for them to resurface...
Searing our hearts so deep...

3/1/18

A gift of a fish

A gift of a fish
Unexpected; true
What a lovely dish
Just before lunch was due
Gutted; scaled and cleaned
With much gusto
Herbed; peppered; steamed?
What should we do?
Wrapped in foil; deposited
Along with spring onions; zucchini
Olive oil; what a treat!
The freshest lunch we'd ever eat!

First year anniversary of mum's passing

Mum's been gone 1 year now
I miss her so very, very much
Just re-potted her Dianthus flowers
Makes me feel like we're still in touch
Planted a few herbs in her honour
Some tomato; parsley; basil and such
Memories returning from the past
Of her little gardens; flowers too
Camelia, fuchsia, and hibiscus plants
Planted along the fence line; true
Both in Moorook; Kingston-on-Murray
And in Berri; these herbs she ever used
Fresh from her little garden
These; her culinary delights
Made our meals so very tasty
I remember those days and nights
I miss you my dearest darling
I think of you each and every day
I wish I could still see you
I wish I could hear you say
"I love you my dearest darlings"
As you took care of us
Each and every blessed day...

28/12/2017

Wishing you a merry Christmas 2017

Wishing you all a merry Christmas
Wishing you all the very best 
Hoping that you all drive safely
Please make sure you arrive; safest
Remember to be thankful
For the good things you have had
Forget about all those things
That have made you sad
Good things come to those
Who truly do appreciate
Every simple thing they have...
So; gather all together
Give love where ever you can
You never know how many
More Christmases you my have...
God bless you; stay safe!

24/12/2017

Dear Mum

Ah God; I miss you mum
Can't believe you're gone

It's nearly one year now
And sometimes; I feel so alone
You were always there for me
No matter what I'd done
As a child you held me close
We had so much loving fun
While dad was much more playful
You had to be the tough one

As a teenager I rebelled; I know
I wanted to follow my own drum
I guess I wasn't the best daughter
I guess I wasn't the obedient one
But I respected you; never said a bad word
I adored my dad; like any girl; hun
You were ever the strongest one
I respected you; above any in the world

I just found your photograph
That loving face of yours
Those deep brown eyes; yes
In your eyes; your love shone
On my wedding day; it was captured
As you stood beside me
What a blessed soul you were
Taking care of everyone

I can see your strong hands moving
Cooking, creating, you were amazing 
All those things you made for everyone
Knitting needles clicking; your love appearing 
In colourful jumpers; dresses too
Ah mum; I am undone...
Tears slip from my eyes now
As I remember them; yes; everyone!

You welcomed your grandchildren
Loved them all; we had such fun
Christmas time; birthdays
Others; you always outshone
Cooking up a feasting frenzy
Preparing our favourite things
Knowing how we adored you
And the doting grandma you'd become

Great grandchildren came along
Ah how you adored their smiles
Enchanted by their beautiful faces
And all their precious wiles
Every visit was so precious to us
As the years began to pass
Knowing of your illness; progressing 
Every beautiful moment; we grasped

I miss you my darling mum
I miss so many things
I have you here in my memories
I have you here in my beating heart
Never will I forget you
Ever will your love remain
As long as I am living; breathing
Your love; in here; I will retain!

Rest in peace
24/06/1938 to 28/12/2016

23rd December 2017