When pain rules and sends me spiralling into the depths of despair
When nothing soothes the angry beast: when nothing makes it easier to bear
Before I give in to tears of frustration that's when I need help the most
From my dearest Lord in Creation: it is when the pain is winning
That I must retrace my steps to the beginning
It is thus I surrender to the heavenly domain and ask for help
In containing that ghastly pain: so down I lay me on the bed and
As I do surrender to that peaceful refrain: then and only then do the angels appear
As I surrender up my burden: the relief I request is given with Love unheard of
I ask for my angelic friends to touch and ease to finally release the tensions and contractions
In muscles tight and bunched as I mentioned: I ask for help and it is given
I feel their touch as light as air upon my skin and on my hair
As they go about their healing attentions: when I ask for angelic acupuncture
I feel their touch at potent junctions: where the senses know of sweet release
There I find my blessed peace, with touch and press and sweet intervention.
I thank you Lord for blessing me with Thy heavenly attendants as they ease and
Send my pains to another dimension! I send my thanks to heaven bounding
As feathery touches take away that pain that was so cruel and completely astounding!
So thank you Lord for saving me from bitter pain and frustration!
Monday, 2 January 2012
A prayer for my Lord's control 30/7/11
Lord heal my weak and earthly body
Lord take my mind and make it whole
Lord help me be a better person
Lord take and cleanse my soul
Without you I am less than nothing
Without you I am not anything at all
'Tis only with you that I can make it
'Tis only with you that I am worthwhile
I pray you live inside this heart here
I pray you take sure and sole control
I was but dust before you touched me
I am but lifeless like a doll
You: my dearest Lord and Saviour
You: make my life worthwhile
You send my heart a leaping
You send my soul in flight
I feel your love within this shell here
I feel your blood pulsing in my veins
I know you are here to stay Lord
I know your strength is at my call
You: Lord are my salvation
You: Lord are my all!
Lord take my mind and make it whole
Lord help me be a better person
Lord take and cleanse my soul
Without you I am less than nothing
Without you I am not anything at all
'Tis only with you that I can make it
'Tis only with you that I am worthwhile
I pray you live inside this heart here
I pray you take sure and sole control
I was but dust before you touched me
I am but lifeless like a doll
You: my dearest Lord and Saviour
You: make my life worthwhile
You send my heart a leaping
You send my soul in flight
I feel your love within this shell here
I feel your blood pulsing in my veins
I know you are here to stay Lord
I know your strength is at my call
You: Lord are my salvation
You: Lord are my all!
Dear Bianca
You see dead people, I see a good dear friend
It's like I've known you forever, I love you and I never
Want to lose you, or your dear friendship
I can't believe it's only been eight short months since
We met and poured out our hearts to each other
It's like I've met you so many years ago
You've been my sister and my mother
I really want no other, I need you on my side; I feel your pain
Like conjoined twins share their highs and lows together
I can't believe it was your artwork on those stobie poles
I can't believe you lived at 45 Margaret street in dear old North Adelaide
When you wandered down those streets
You painted your life and your father's in your soulful art
He was that strong black bird, I saw your bright Galah
Pretty flowers and so much more!
What art you had in store for those who drove those lanes
Thank you for the pains you took, to decorate those dreary suburban streets
Without your art they seemed like unto the dead
And lonely streets of old black and white TV
When I mentioned Bonegila, that refugee camp of old
Your parents there as well, their two years there of hell
Waiting to be allowed to claim a bit of life on these Australian shores
My parents there eight years later, in their own peculiar hell
I was born at Albury Base Hospital, no English my mum knew
No Birth certificate for me there, just a little note that said
"A living female infant born".
You remember Albury. I don't: only as my place of birth
Then I see pictures in cold Tassie, my parents there with me
A tiny babe in arms with our sponsor family Janis Pankelis
Then later, Keith and Ada Boys, I still remember the joys
As five years later on we visited and that holiday
I remember clear as day, the trip across the seas
On the Princess of Tasmania: I still recall their home
My little cubby house underneath their homely space
I remember that tractor ride, those trees so tall with pride
I remember those sky rockets, the fire crackers in the night sky
Then back to Melbourne we went, then Geelong with close friends the Easter spent
I recall the visitors; not wanting to give my eggs for their sprinkle of perfume
No fair trade in my mind, my stance it spoke volumes!
But the joy I felt inside when the rockets sped skyward
That joy so oft repeated in my mind
Especially as November did draw near here in South Aussie
You could hear the sky rockets without fear on Guy Fawkes Night
And penny-bungers far and near, what a special time when I was five!
The night skies came alive, celebrations everywhere, now as I think back!
You saw three around me then and there
My Grandma, I recall, her loving arms did embrace
Her dimpled smile upon her face, for three short months I did her know
As their holiday from Hungary, such a short time it did take
Before they left to re-embark on their journey home again
Only then did she remark "If only we could have stayed a year!
Three months too short a space to visit this sun filled place!"
My dear Grandpa, carpenter by his trade, a special verandah he made
All dovetailed and made with love! still it keeps the home protected
From the harsh South Aussie sun! I feel sadness deep inside
That home no longer ours, since dad's illness took it away
No longer could we stay beneath that verandah made with his loving tender care
Now another family does share his lifeblood given there in Kingston-on-Murray.
Now those other two you saw, the giggling one I can't recall
But I'll look around in family history and surely find her somewhere.
The gentleman with the slicked back greying hair, who is he and should I care?
I don't know, I'll ask my mother!
Now it is 2012 and time has flown along
My dearest cousin you recognised from my family album
His dimples were so strong and easy to recognise
I think of him a lot and miss his ready smiles.
Still don't know the giggling one!
But the other snob, tiara and all, is sure to be that ancestor
Who gambled all the wealth away, that duchess or whatever she was
Don't even know her name!
(Mum knew her name: Baroness Sarolta Varadi)
It's like I've known you forever, I love you and I never
Want to lose you, or your dear friendship
I can't believe it's only been eight short months since
We met and poured out our hearts to each other
It's like I've met you so many years ago
You've been my sister and my mother
I really want no other, I need you on my side; I feel your pain
Like conjoined twins share their highs and lows together
I can't believe it was your artwork on those stobie poles
I can't believe you lived at 45 Margaret street in dear old North Adelaide
When you wandered down those streets
You painted your life and your father's in your soulful art
He was that strong black bird, I saw your bright Galah
Pretty flowers and so much more!
What art you had in store for those who drove those lanes
Thank you for the pains you took, to decorate those dreary suburban streets
Without your art they seemed like unto the dead
And lonely streets of old black and white TV
When I mentioned Bonegila, that refugee camp of old
Your parents there as well, their two years there of hell
Waiting to be allowed to claim a bit of life on these Australian shores
My parents there eight years later, in their own peculiar hell
I was born at Albury Base Hospital, no English my mum knew
No Birth certificate for me there, just a little note that said
"A living female infant born".
You remember Albury. I don't: only as my place of birth
Then I see pictures in cold Tassie, my parents there with me
A tiny babe in arms with our sponsor family Janis Pankelis
Then later, Keith and Ada Boys, I still remember the joys
As five years later on we visited and that holiday
I remember clear as day, the trip across the seas
On the Princess of Tasmania: I still recall their home
My little cubby house underneath their homely space
I remember that tractor ride, those trees so tall with pride
I remember those sky rockets, the fire crackers in the night sky
Then back to Melbourne we went, then Geelong with close friends the Easter spent
I recall the visitors; not wanting to give my eggs for their sprinkle of perfume
No fair trade in my mind, my stance it spoke volumes!
But the joy I felt inside when the rockets sped skyward
That joy so oft repeated in my mind
Especially as November did draw near here in South Aussie
You could hear the sky rockets without fear on Guy Fawkes Night
And penny-bungers far and near, what a special time when I was five!
The night skies came alive, celebrations everywhere, now as I think back!
You saw three around me then and there
My Grandma, I recall, her loving arms did embrace
Her dimpled smile upon her face, for three short months I did her know
As their holiday from Hungary, such a short time it did take
Before they left to re-embark on their journey home again
Only then did she remark "If only we could have stayed a year!
Three months too short a space to visit this sun filled place!"
My dear Grandpa, carpenter by his trade, a special verandah he made
All dovetailed and made with love! still it keeps the home protected
From the harsh South Aussie sun! I feel sadness deep inside
That home no longer ours, since dad's illness took it away
No longer could we stay beneath that verandah made with his loving tender care
Now another family does share his lifeblood given there in Kingston-on-Murray.
Now those other two you saw, the giggling one I can't recall
But I'll look around in family history and surely find her somewhere.
The gentleman with the slicked back greying hair, who is he and should I care?
I don't know, I'll ask my mother!
Now it is 2012 and time has flown along
My dearest cousin you recognised from my family album
His dimples were so strong and easy to recognise
I think of him a lot and miss his ready smiles.
Still don't know the giggling one!
But the other snob, tiara and all, is sure to be that ancestor
Who gambled all the wealth away, that duchess or whatever she was
Don't even know her name!
(Mum knew her name: Baroness Sarolta Varadi)
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Will I ever be worthy?
Will I ever be worthy Lord?
Will I ever be good enough?
Will I ever be strong enough?
Will I ever be wise enough?
To carry the day!
Will I ever get to that place Lord?
When no one can say
She's not good enough
To serve in any way!
How will I know Lord?
How will I discover?
When I'll be good enough?
To stand up and say
I'm yours forever Lord!
I'm yours Lord, just tell me Lord
How may I serve you Lord?
And in what way?
If only you will say
She's good enough
To kneel down and pray
So why isn't she good enough?
In any other way?
Will I ever be good enough?
Will I ever be strong enough?
Will I ever be wise enough?
To carry the day!
Will I ever get to that place Lord?
When no one can say
She's not good enough
To serve in any way!
How will I know Lord?
How will I discover?
When I'll be good enough?
To stand up and say
I'm yours forever Lord!
I'm yours Lord, just tell me Lord
How may I serve you Lord?
And in what way?
If only you will say
She's good enough
To kneel down and pray
So why isn't she good enough?
In any other way?
Where have all the manners gone?
What a shame it is to see that people no longer seem
To mind their P's and their Q's when out and about in public
What happened to the simple words that used to follow afterwards?
Where are the pleases and thank you's?
Have manners gone the same way as the dinosaurs?
Has the ice age come again and left our manners frozen
Along with our smiles and courtesy?
Why is it that little ones look up and have to ask?
"Mummy, why didn't that lady say thank you?"
Or "Why did that person ignore me?"
"When I used my manners as you said'?
What questions must go round in their little heads?
To learn these most important rules and then to see the others forget it all
And not seem to care when smiles and waves are given!
To mind their P's and their Q's when out and about in public
What happened to the simple words that used to follow afterwards?
Where are the pleases and thank you's?
Have manners gone the same way as the dinosaurs?
Has the ice age come again and left our manners frozen
Along with our smiles and courtesy?
Why is it that little ones look up and have to ask?
"Mummy, why didn't that lady say thank you?"
Or "Why did that person ignore me?"
"When I used my manners as you said'?
What questions must go round in their little heads?
To learn these most important rules and then to see the others forget it all
And not seem to care when smiles and waves are given!
Walk a mile in my shoes
Hey I'm not trying to whinge and whine: I'm just trying to survive
I just wish that you could feel this pain inside of me
I'm sorry if you think I whinge: I'm sorry if you think I whine
I'm just trying to let you see I need some sympathy
I don't expect you to really understand but
If you could just think a bit of me you might finally really see
That this pain is here today and it makes me what I am
This pain controls my day: it steals away my sleep
Makes me feel so incomplete because it hurts me oh so deep
If only you could walk a little while, maybe a little mile
In these pain-filled shoes of mine you might get to understand
This is not what I planned: this is not how I'd choose to live
I'd much rather be pain free: If only you could see and
Walk a mile in my shoes: you'd understand my needs
You'd appreciate maybe that you're not me
That you are so lucky to be so free of pain and
Thank the dear Lord up above that it really isn't fun
To walk a mile in my shoes!
I just wish that you could feel this pain inside of me
I'm sorry if you think I whinge: I'm sorry if you think I whine
I'm just trying to let you see I need some sympathy
I don't expect you to really understand but
If you could just think a bit of me you might finally really see
That this pain is here today and it makes me what I am
This pain controls my day: it steals away my sleep
Makes me feel so incomplete because it hurts me oh so deep
If only you could walk a little while, maybe a little mile
In these pain-filled shoes of mine you might get to understand
This is not what I planned: this is not how I'd choose to live
I'd much rather be pain free: If only you could see and
Walk a mile in my shoes: you'd understand my needs
You'd appreciate maybe that you're not me
That you are so lucky to be so free of pain and
Thank the dear Lord up above that it really isn't fun
To walk a mile in my shoes!
Until it happens to you
How wonderful to feel alive and see the sun
As it climbs into the sky and dips again
How wonderful to appreciate every little thing
That God has so freely given to us all
How blessed to have been in so much pain and
Finally to appreciate the healthy feeling
Of when the pain is gone and finally see
How wonderful life is without that gloomy cloud
That completely overshadows all the good and
Makes it seem so impossible to ever feel
Like life is worth living all over again
How impossible to explain the ravages of pain
To another who has never fell its wrath?
To someone who is untouched by illness and
Is blessed to feel so whole and free but
Cannot understand the freedom
That comes with being young and strong
The strength of youth is such that minds
Are unable to comprehend ever growing old
Unable to feel sympathy with someone else's pain
Simply because they've never had to ache
Never been to that darkest gloomy dale
Where pain never sleeps and forces one
To strike at one's own flesh simply because
The tiny change that comes with the extra pain
Is just different enough to ease that constant
Unremitting force that overpowers
By its constancy, never receding far enough
To give a moments peace and so wears away
The patience of the saints to such degree
That anger and frustration become the norm
That every waking moment with no relief
Becomes a burden to shatter one's faith and
Collapses into a numbing heap of aching flesh
Wholly unlike any living thing ever to live upon this earth!
As it climbs into the sky and dips again
How wonderful to appreciate every little thing
That God has so freely given to us all
How blessed to have been in so much pain and
Finally to appreciate the healthy feeling
Of when the pain is gone and finally see
How wonderful life is without that gloomy cloud
That completely overshadows all the good and
Makes it seem so impossible to ever feel
Like life is worth living all over again
How impossible to explain the ravages of pain
To another who has never fell its wrath?
To someone who is untouched by illness and
Is blessed to feel so whole and free but
Cannot understand the freedom
That comes with being young and strong
The strength of youth is such that minds
Are unable to comprehend ever growing old
Unable to feel sympathy with someone else's pain
Simply because they've never had to ache
Never been to that darkest gloomy dale
Where pain never sleeps and forces one
To strike at one's own flesh simply because
The tiny change that comes with the extra pain
Is just different enough to ease that constant
Unremitting force that overpowers
By its constancy, never receding far enough
To give a moments peace and so wears away
The patience of the saints to such degree
That anger and frustration become the norm
That every waking moment with no relief
Becomes a burden to shatter one's faith and
Collapses into a numbing heap of aching flesh
Wholly unlike any living thing ever to live upon this earth!
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