This pain inside 2014

This pain inside must be told
For how else could anyone
Ever get to understand
That the hurt must bide
Until something makes it erupt
Until some catalyst, you never knew
Causes it all to come forth
And spew out like a molten river
Making it escape the bonds
You thought you knew...

26th December 2014

Pieces of me

There are pieces of me

Everywhere; here and there

Here inside; in memories

In my children, grandchildren too

A part of me is in Chile

Another few bits and pieces

Here in South Australia

Some in Hungary

I have left pieces of me 

In all those places

Where I have lived 

Over these past 62 years

Other pieces of me

Are shed with my tears

For my mum and dad

Losing them has made me sad

I watched a movie 

Just the other day

"Fences" starring

Denzel Washington

And Viola Davis

Made me cry my tears

Rose cried her tears at the loss 

Of Troy (her husband)

Like her; I realise

How much of me

I surrendered

Over the years

As I grew smaller

Withdrew...

Into myself

Giving up; pieces of myself

Becoming a mere shell

Being someone else...

How is it possible?

To lose so much

Of oneself

To go back into me

To un-grow...

To halt

For so long

Only now am I

Finding myself again

Like a flower bud

In stasis

Now growing

Opening up...

Blooming...

Showing my true colours

Hidden for so long

Here...

Deep within

I like me!

I like this feeling

It's taken me

Most of my life

To get to this place

Where I am 

Almost 

Comfortable 

In my own skin

 
Began 8th September 2019

Finished 23rd November 2019

Bubby sneezed on me 2012

Bubby sneezed on me

That rotten flu germ's got me

Feeling like Winnie the Pooh

My head is stuffed with fluff

My nose runs; my feet smell

Tears pour from my eyes

I cough and splutter all night

Help me, I'm going mad

Is there no help to be had?

21st November 2012

Changes

I've been going through 
So many changes
Through these years 
And tears
Lost family members
Quite recently...
Lost my temper
Many long years ago...
Now as I look back
Along this winding track
Though I was ashamed
Of my weight
Of my state
I realise
I've been changing
Rearranging
Everything 
Inside and out
Gaining fitness
Losing my distress...
As I've found
Some grace...
No longer ashamed
No longer lost; I vow
I have found
Just a semblance
Of this peace inside
Yes; Finally
Maybe happiness
Will reside!

1st November 2019

Some days

Do you look around you some days?

Wishing for those things you do not have

Do you imagine a better life?

Than this one that you have

If you never seem to find happiness

Because you only see the dross

Surrounded by memories of those

Precious loved ones you have lost...

Stop wondering about "what-evers"

Stop living in the past

Enjoy this moment's madness

For today could be your last

We do not know what tomorrow holds

How could we ever understand?

If only we could live each minute

As if it truly were our last

Would you then enjoy each blessing?

Would you truly find happiness?

If you knew this precious evening

Was the only one you would be given

Wouldn't you enjoy every blessed minute

Knowing it would be your very last!

So don't worry about "some-day"

Don't worry about the past

Can’t you see time is passing?

So very, very fast

Make the most of this minute

Enjoy those you have in it

Let go the oars; go with the flow

Enjoy what you have

Before you have to go...

1st November 2019

The best view 2016

We had lunch out in nature
High up on the beautiful cliffs
The most amazing scenery
Seagulls soaring above us
Sitting in the glorious sunshine
Taking in the fresh spring air
What a view dear Lord
I'm telling you; felt so free...
Two hours in; two hours back again
Trekked along the amazing coast
Everything was such a delight
Bushland abloom; spring blossoms
A myriad of rainbow colours...
Dolphins playing down below
Hawks; red Lorikeets; tiny wrens
Willy wagtails; wattlebirds; Kangaroos
Stumpy tails out sunning themselves...
Someone lives up there all year round
Wish that it was me; ah to be so free
Serenaded by the bushland birds
Caressed by sun and sea breezes
Watching those changing seasons
Closer to God's glorious nature I've never been...

24th September 2016

Newland Head Conservation Park SA

Going for a long drive

We were trying to leave the city
Going for a lovely long drive
My daughter and grandchildren
Feeling great just to be alive
Travelling out into the country
Heading to grandma's place
Yes; we were excited; packed
Glad to seek some empty space
Traffic was at a standstill
Couldn't even move; no groove
I'd forgotten what day it was
City to Bay Fun Run; people on the move
Waited for 10 minutes; getting so hot
Finally decided; I wasn't going to stay
A gap in the traffic; a little space at last
We jumped the centre curb; had to play
Headed back the way we'd come
Escaping from the city; yes indeed
Going up cross Road to the freeway
Escaping; finally gathering some speed...

21st September 2019

5 years ago...City to Bay Fun Run
And the footy grand final!