Guilt trips

So many feeling sad and low

So many things I wish he’d know

“I love you!” only one of them

Many words I wish I’d said

The times past: all in my head

Oh Tim it makes me sad

You thought there was no other way

I almost went back that very night

I couldn’t bear another fight

Shelley feels bad: she was at work

She checked her messages at lunch time

But by then it was way too late

You’d already fallen: met your fate

Vanessa feels your loss: cries a lot

So many ifs and buts: suppose it was

Too late to take back any words

We all just wanted you to move

Get up and exercise a little bit

Everything just seemed too difficult for you

I should have tried to force you

To move a bit: to exercise: live a bit

But I only wanted you to live

You know we all meant well

Wanted only the best for you

I know I said “That’s your choice”

To those negative things you said

Now those words keep repeating in my head

“It’s your choice! I cannot live your life

I cannot do it all for you

You have to do it! You do!”

Michael feels sad because

He went to be with his mates

Who’d have thought it would be the last

Time he’d see you: face to face

He didn’t want to see you crying

Instead he saw you later on

Too late for you’d already lay dying

Oh honey why did you have to do it?

Was there no other choice?

Did you not hear that still quiet voice?

Too much torment in your mind

Life really was way too unkind!

I know now there are so many

“What ifs” we all wish we’d known

Perhaps if this or that was said

If you’d only been able to comprehend

We love you and always will

Just wanted to give you a little push

Keep you from stagnating: keep you from…

Andrew wishes he’d not said

“It’s about time mate!

She’s done it all for you for so long!

How about helping out a bit

Get off your arse and work a bit

You can’t just sit and sit!”

Mark regrets his words to you

After Nana’s funeral 4 years ago

When he said to you

“Don’t want to see you!

Don’t want to talk to you!

Don’t want to know you!

Don’t call me!”

He didn’t realise those words

Would end up breaking your heart

Had no idea you’d just fall apart

Richard too: he never called

Was quite happy to live his life

Quietly with his family

No stress: no pain!

But thought he’d see you again

Ian thought he was doing you a favour

Loaned that car for you to use

Never knowing what you would choose

“If onlys” never seem enough

“Why did you think you had no other choice?

Why didn’t you stay with him?

Could he have called again?

Stayed closer to you?

At this time of need!

Our poor hearts bleed

For those unanswered questions

Never will we truly know

For you are gone to God

And still we grieve!