Despised and downtrodden

Despised; looked down upon

Left behind: given up on

How does it feel when loved ones?

Give up on you: have had enough

Are sick of trying to get through

You will not listen to their pleas

Will they abandon you with ease?

Leave you crying on your knees?

Kick you when you’re down and out

Already weakened: diseased: spent

How many times must I beg you to “please”?

How many times must I return to grease?

Those cogs and wheels that jam

That stubborn thinking brain of yours

Left wallowing within that stuffed up head

Too many bitter memories: left for dead

I tried for so many years to help you 37 in fact

Begged, pleaded, cajoled, wheedled

Yelled, screamed, prayed unheeded

Now I need some support from you

My mum’s leukaemia has me in a spin

I know we all have to die one day

But I’d rather it be “later”: not today!

I am feeling anxious: my heart’s pounding

Driving up to the Riverland to see her

Will I see a weakening: a difference?

Something obviously giving way to

That illness that will not just go away

I’m crying all the time: when will it be “Me time”?

Look at it from my point of view

What more could any mortal do?

Now turn it all around again

See it from another’s point of view

Stop talking at me: I am depressed

Leave me alone: I am non-plussed

These painful thoughts within my head

Are all that matter: all that I can feel

I am no Achilles with just a weakened heel

I am a lost boy: to Neverland, I need to fly

I cannot go on and do it all

I am still hurting from my early life

You are my mother as well as wife

It all seems too difficult to bear

Feed me: wash a shirt for me to wear

Make my coffee: do everything

Cook my meals, wash up my dishes

It’s all too hard for me I swear

I don’t care about my clothes

Covered in ash: I stink, I suppose

I’ve become a burden even to myself

Just leave me here: rotting in my filth

Don’t want to have a bath

Don’t lead me up the garden path

Just let me sit and think here alone

I am perfect: no need for me to atone

Now look at another’s life I know

It seems so difficult to follow

I beg you to stop smoking those

Stinking cigarettes: cancer might get you yet

I worry about these things: they get me down

You do not care about how I feel

Though I beg and plead; grow angry at your needs

I worry that you will leave me; die of cancer

Leave our children without their mum

What a lazy thing you have become

You cannot even keep our house clean

Why do I have to do everything?

I have to look after the kids at night

I have to feed them: play with them

Clean up their constant mess

I am so overcome with stress

This dystonia is crippling me

When oh when will you ever see?

I need you to help me: stroke my head

I feel like I will die one day instead

Leave you alone to cope: what then

Will you be happy when I’m gone?

Look again from another’s point of view

Does it sound familiar to you?

I am struggling to do everything

I am supposed to be a super-woman

You never give me any credit for anything

I will always be younger than you

No matter what I do it’s never good enough

You say to others how proud your are of me

But to my face you have no words: intimidate

Look down your nose: you ingrate!

Can you not ever: just once find something good?

Find a positive: one thing I might do right?

You call me names; you put me down

You think I cannot do anything right

Well I’m sick of being told that I’m useless

I’m sick and tired of feeling stressed

I wait for you to come on home

Ready for you to start again: laying blame

I find I need that cigarette to ease my stress

I cannot relax because you always attack

I can never seem to talk: answer you back

You never listen to my words: looked down upon

I am always spurned: your words burn!

I run away to escape your angry face

But there is never anywhere to hide

I feel cornered so I fight and scream

What ever happened to our lifelong dream?

Living happily ever after so in love

My dad is dead just 2 months ago

Our baby is barely 8 months old

I breast feed: give her everything I’ve got

I’m up all night taking care of her

You are no bloody help at all

You begrudgingly help a tiny bit

Acting like it is all: “your job”: “can’t you cope with it?”

You are so up yourself: so ego filled

Like everything should be done for you

You are such a “macho man”

Primping, preening gallivanting around

I look at you: you are “all show”

Doing as little as you can

Looking down your “stuck up” nose at me

When will you ever see?

I’m doing the very best I can

Can’t you see I need some support from you?

What is it that you even do?

I ask you to rub my aching neck

You say every time: “later: I’ll do it then!”

Well that never happens if you care to look around

It’s always me that helps your poor aching head

When will it be “Me time” instead?

It’s just not fair: I’m feeling depressed

Every day there’s more and more stress

I’m on edge: expecting more anger from you

Its what I’m getting used to: but I’m not happy

How do I get through to you: you will not listen to me!

All you ever do is put me down: again and again

I’m falling into this deep dark pit

No light coming into it: becoming darker every day

Help me I’m drowning in all this unfair shit!