Just five minutes

Any mum will tell you

She wants just five minutes

To have a tiny break

That’s all it would take

All you “holier than thou's”

Just take a little peek

At this life of which we speak

A mother’s life: is never her own

There’s always something

That has to be done

No lazing around: no shirking

Yes every blooming day

24/7 mum’s working

Dear Lord in heaven

Just give them five minutes

Of “Me-time” that’s fine

That’s all that’s needed

The garden to be weeded

The baby just peed again

The dog stole the chicken

Isn’t that very wicked?

Now the house is a mess

Who did it? I’ll give you one guess!

The three year old is screaming

There’s a spider on his leg

Now the cat’s brought a gift

Ooh yuck: not another mouse or rat

It’s a poo upon the bed

Just when you want to lay your head

The phone’s ringing off the wall

The baby’s crawling down the hall

Where’s the phone? Can’t find it at all!

Think you can sit and have a cup of tea?

Well guess again honey!

There’s someone at the door

He’s spilled juice all over the floor

The baby’s poo-ed everywhere

It’s leaking out right there

You’ll need to change all her clothes

Another washing machine load

To hang out upon the line

Now there’s rain pouring down

Too late to bring in the clothes, I’m bound

Oh well I guess you might as well

Scream and damn it all to hell

But what’s that? It’s the bell!

The toast is burnt once again

The alarm’s screeching out its death knell

You think it’s over and done

But it’s only just begun

Here comes another mess

He’s helped himself to the fridge

Pulled out everything in there

Got some ice cream melting on the chair

Who ever said that life was fair?

Then the washing machine is screaming out

You forgot to turn the water on

Hear it right throughout the house

That thudding means it’s out of whack

Now there’s a pain in your back

From carrying the baby everywhere

She’s teething: I know it isn’t fair

You put her into the high chair

She screams blue murder in the air

You feel like tearing out your hair

Finally you get to sit upon a chair

Trying to calm her; settle her there

Oh Lord just give me five minutes

You beg and plead into the air

Please hear dear Lord I’m going mad

Just give me five minutes! Please!