This pain inside must be told
For how else could anyone
Ever get to understand
That the hurt must bide
Until something makes it erupt
Until some catalyst, you never knew
Causes it all to come forth
And spew out like a molten river
Making it escape the bonds
You thought you knew...
26th December 2014
Friday 22 November 2019
Pieces of me
There are pieces of me
Everywhere;
here and there
Here inside; in
memories
In my children,
grandchildren too
A part of me is in Chile
Another few
bits and pieces
Here in South
Australia
Some in Hungary
I have left pieces of me
In all those
places
Where I have
lived
Over these past
62 years
Other pieces of me
Are shed with
my tears
For my mum and
dad
Losing them has
made me sad
I watched a movie
Just the other
day
"Fences"
starring
Denzel
Washington
And Viola Davis
Made me cry my
tears
Rose cried her
tears at the loss
Of Troy (her
husband)
Like her; I realise
How much of me
I surrendered
Over the years
As I grew
smaller
Withdrew...
Into myself
Giving up;
pieces of myself
Becoming a
mere shell
Being someone
else...
How is it possible?
To lose so much
Of oneself
To go back into
me
To un-grow...
To halt
For so long
Only now am I
Finding myself
again
Like a flower
bud
In stasis
Now growing
Opening up...
Blooming...
Showing my true
colours
Hidden for so
long
Here...
Deep within
I like me!
I like this
feeling
It's taken me
Most of my life
To get to this
place
Where I
am
Almost
Comfortable
In my own skin
Began 8th September 2019
Finished 23rd
November 2019
Bubby sneezed on me 2012
Bubby sneezed on me
That rotten flu germ's got me
Feeling like Winnie the Pooh
My head is stuffed with fluff
My nose runs; my feet smell
Tears pour from my eyes
I cough and splutter all night
Help me, I'm going mad
Is there no help to be had?
21st November 2012
Changes
I've been going through
So many changes
Through these years
And tears
Lost family members
Quite recently...
Lost my temper
Many long years ago...
Now as I look back
Along this winding track
Though I was ashamed
Of my weight
Of my state
I realise
I've been changing
Rearranging
Everything
Inside and out
Gaining fitness
Losing my distress...
As I've found
Some grace...
No longer ashamed
No longer lost; I vow
I have found
Just a semblance
Of this peace inside
Yes; Finally
Maybe happiness
Will reside!
1st November 2019
So many changes
Through these years
And tears
Lost family members
Quite recently...
Lost my temper
Many long years ago...
Now as I look back
Along this winding track
Though I was ashamed
Of my weight
Of my state
I realise
I've been changing
Rearranging
Everything
Inside and out
Gaining fitness
Losing my distress...
As I've found
Some grace...
No longer ashamed
No longer lost; I vow
I have found
Just a semblance
Of this peace inside
Yes; Finally
Maybe happiness
Will reside!
1st November 2019
Some days
Do you look around you some days?
Wishing
for those things you do not have
Do
you imagine a better life?
Than
this one that you have
If
you never seem to find happiness
Because
you only see the dross
Surrounded
by memories of those
Precious
loved ones you have lost...
Stop
wondering about "what-evers"
Stop
living in the past
Enjoy
this moment's madness
For
today could be your last
We
do not know what tomorrow holds
How
could we ever understand?
If
only we could live each minute
As
if it truly were our last
Would
you then enjoy each blessing?
Would
you truly find happiness?
If
you knew this precious evening
Was
the only one you would be given
Wouldn't
you enjoy every blessed minute
Knowing
it would be your very last!
So
don't worry about "some-day"
Don't
worry about the past
Can’t
you see time is passing?
So
very, very fast
Make
the most of this minute
Enjoy
those you have in it
Let
go the oars; go with the flow
Enjoy
what you have
Before
you have to go...
1st November 2019
The best view 2016
We had lunch out in nature
High up on the beautiful cliffs
The most amazing scenery
Seagulls soaring above us
Sitting in the glorious sunshine
Taking in the fresh spring air
What a view dear Lord
I'm telling you; felt so free...
Two hours in; two hours back again
Trekked along the amazing coast
Everything was such a delight
Bushland abloom; spring blossoms
A myriad of rainbow colours...
Dolphins playing down below
Hawks; red Lorikeets; tiny wrens
Willy wagtails; wattlebirds; Kangaroos
Stumpy tails out sunning themselves...
Someone lives up there all year round
Wish that it was me; ah to be so free
Serenaded by the bushland birds
Caressed by sun and sea breezes
Watching those changing seasons
Closer to God's glorious nature I've never been...
24th September 2016
Newland Head Conservation Park SA
High up on the beautiful cliffs
The most amazing scenery
Seagulls soaring above us
Sitting in the glorious sunshine
Taking in the fresh spring air
What a view dear Lord
I'm telling you; felt so free...
Two hours in; two hours back again
Trekked along the amazing coast
Everything was such a delight
Bushland abloom; spring blossoms
A myriad of rainbow colours...
Dolphins playing down below
Hawks; red Lorikeets; tiny wrens
Willy wagtails; wattlebirds; Kangaroos
Stumpy tails out sunning themselves...
Someone lives up there all year round
Wish that it was me; ah to be so free
Serenaded by the bushland birds
Caressed by sun and sea breezes
Watching those changing seasons
Closer to God's glorious nature I've never been...
24th September 2016
Newland Head Conservation Park SA
Going for a long drive
We were trying to leave the city
Going for a lovely long drive
My daughter and grandchildren
Feeling great just to be alive
Travelling out into the country
Heading to grandma's place
Yes; we were excited; packed
Glad to seek some empty space
Traffic was at a standstill
Couldn't even move; no groove
I'd forgotten what day it was
City to Bay Fun Run; people on the move
Waited for 10 minutes; getting so hot
Finally decided; I wasn't going to stay
A gap in the traffic; a little space at last
We jumped the centre curb; had to play
Headed back the way we'd come
Escaping from the city; yes indeed
Going up cross Road to the freeway
Escaping; finally gathering some speed...
21st September 2019
5 years ago...City to Bay Fun Run
And the footy grand final!
Going for a lovely long drive
My daughter and grandchildren
Feeling great just to be alive
Travelling out into the country
Heading to grandma's place
Yes; we were excited; packed
Glad to seek some empty space
Traffic was at a standstill
Couldn't even move; no groove
I'd forgotten what day it was
City to Bay Fun Run; people on the move
Waited for 10 minutes; getting so hot
Finally decided; I wasn't going to stay
A gap in the traffic; a little space at last
We jumped the centre curb; had to play
Headed back the way we'd come
Escaping from the city; yes indeed
Going up cross Road to the freeway
Escaping; finally gathering some speed...
21st September 2019
5 years ago...City to Bay Fun Run
And the footy grand final!
Happy 6th Birthday Evaleah
Guess who's 6 tomorrow?
Happy birthday precious
Wish I could kiss you
Wish I could hug you
Wish I could hold you close
Wish that you have the best day
Though you are so far away
Happy Birthday Evaleah
Love from Nana Sue
Tia Shelley and Tio Josh
And Tio Michael
18th September 2019
Happy birthday precious
Wish I could kiss you
Wish I could hug you
Wish I could hold you close
Wish that you have the best day
Though you are so far away
Happy Birthday Evaleah
Love from Nana Sue
Tia Shelley and Tio Josh
And Tio Michael
18th September 2019
My "pet" spinach
Every time we planted the new little plants
Something would come along in the night
Eat every single little leaf; yes; a night thief
Would steal away my joy; oh boy!
Was I mad? Yes indeed! What a cad!
Tried so many different ways; make him stay away!
But nothing worked! The little jerk!
That Popeye baby spinach thief!
Always gave me grief! until
We created a cage of garden staked
Thought we had it made! Tied with fine wire
Thought we'd made the grade!
Even sprayed them with chili-garlic spray
Hah! No way! It climbed up to the top
Wiggled its way through the bars!
No cigars! Ate our spinach once again!
Finally, at Bunnings we espied...
A couple of wire grates; fashioned into walls
A couple of hinged gates; and finally Fate
Smiled upon our tiny plants!
Six weeks later I can safely say
This freshly picked spinach made its way
Into our special meal! Shout hooray!
Yummy! The healthy meal we eat today!
The Rakali is a native water rat
It feeds on crustaceans when it might
Other insects; critters and such
Are a part of its diet so I've read
When there is nothing else around
It eats vegetation; juicy roots and shoots
And baby spinach I guess; no less!
Saw one swimming by last night
Bypassing our little "pet" spinach plants
Caged and kept safely close to home!
It can eat other shoots and greens!
Am I being mean? If I delight at this sight?
Watching my little garden grow
Gives me so much more pleasure than you know
For, growing up in the Riverland
I have always loved to tend and grow
Just like my dearest dad; as you know
A fruit grower who loved the land
Tending everything with his own dear hands!
14th September 2019
Something would come along in the night
Eat every single little leaf; yes; a night thief
Would steal away my joy; oh boy!
Was I mad? Yes indeed! What a cad!
Tried so many different ways; make him stay away!
But nothing worked! The little jerk!
That Popeye baby spinach thief!
Always gave me grief! until
We created a cage of garden staked
Thought we had it made! Tied with fine wire
Thought we'd made the grade!
Even sprayed them with chili-garlic spray
Hah! No way! It climbed up to the top
Wiggled its way through the bars!
No cigars! Ate our spinach once again!
Finally, at Bunnings we espied...
A couple of wire grates; fashioned into walls
A couple of hinged gates; and finally Fate
Smiled upon our tiny plants!
Six weeks later I can safely say
This freshly picked spinach made its way
Into our special meal! Shout hooray!
Yummy! The healthy meal we eat today!
The Rakali is a native water rat
It feeds on crustaceans when it might
Other insects; critters and such
Are a part of its diet so I've read
When there is nothing else around
It eats vegetation; juicy roots and shoots
And baby spinach I guess; no less!
Saw one swimming by last night
Bypassing our little "pet" spinach plants
Caged and kept safely close to home!
It can eat other shoots and greens!
Am I being mean? If I delight at this sight?
Watching my little garden grow
Gives me so much more pleasure than you know
For, growing up in the Riverland
I have always loved to tend and grow
Just like my dearest dad; as you know
A fruit grower who loved the land
Tending everything with his own dear hands!
14th September 2019
Big sister by Tony Szabo
You were ten when I came into the world
Looking after me and keeping me safe
We had a special bond over the years
Then you grew up and life and marriage got in the way
We drifted apart
But luckily in our old age, we found each other again
Enjoyed each other's company
Lots of stories were told of long ago
Until this dementia set in and these days were gone also
Hard to take when you did not know me anymore
But had all those lovely memories
Rest in peace BIG SISTER
Lots of love Tony xxx
16th January 1930 to 1st August 2019
August 2019
Looking after me and keeping me safe
We had a special bond over the years
Then you grew up and life and marriage got in the way
We drifted apart
But luckily in our old age, we found each other again
Enjoyed each other's company
Lots of stories were told of long ago
Until this dementia set in and these days were gone also
Hard to take when you did not know me anymore
But had all those lovely memories
Rest in peace BIG SISTER
Lots of love Tony xxx
16th January 1930 to 1st August 2019
August 2019
Dear Aunty Roza
Dear Aunty Roza
My dear dad's elder sister
I wish I knew you better
Is it too late to write this letter?
You came across the seas
With your hubby; 3 young sons
Travelled with your younger brother
His pregnant wife; my mother
His young son; my brother
Leaving behind your family
So far away in Hungary...
Australia became your new home
You worked hard to feed your family
Just like my own dear mother too
Here you put down roots
Worked hard in your rubber boots
I remember your working winery
On top of the hill between Moorook
And Kingston-on-Murray
We lived there for a little while
In a shed out the back
In my vaguest memory...
The wood stove kept us warm
Our beanies we heated there
Along with those green peas
Still in their pods; so yummy
Then we moved to our own property
Out back of Moorook; on Schenscher Road
I loved my old almond tree
My favourite place among the grapevines
We visited often when i was young
Not so much as I grew and left the area
Now you and mum and dad are gone
But never forgotten...
Resting in peace upon this soil
No longer do you need to toil
God bless your souls
Rest in Peace dear Aunty Roza Szabados
16th January 1930- 1st August 2019
My dear dad's elder sister
I wish I knew you better
Is it too late to write this letter?
You came across the seas
With your hubby; 3 young sons
Travelled with your younger brother
His pregnant wife; my mother
His young son; my brother
Leaving behind your family
So far away in Hungary...
Australia became your new home
You worked hard to feed your family
Just like my own dear mother too
Here you put down roots
Worked hard in your rubber boots
I remember your working winery
On top of the hill between Moorook
And Kingston-on-Murray
We lived there for a little while
In a shed out the back
In my vaguest memory...
The wood stove kept us warm
Our beanies we heated there
Along with those green peas
Still in their pods; so yummy
Then we moved to our own property
Out back of Moorook; on Schenscher Road
I loved my old almond tree
My favourite place among the grapevines
We visited often when i was young
Not so much as I grew and left the area
Now you and mum and dad are gone
But never forgotten...
Resting in peace upon this soil
No longer do you need to toil
God bless your souls
Rest in Peace dear Aunty Roza Szabados
16th January 1930- 1st August 2019
What do I see
A few stray hairs
Pulled out of my brush
Into the bathroom sink
I looked; amazed...
Art was created
Without even a blush
I saw a chimp wearing cap and glasses!
Laughing out loud!
22 July 2019
Pulled out of my brush
Into the bathroom sink
I looked; amazed...
Art was created
Without even a blush
I saw a chimp wearing cap and glasses!
Laughing out loud!
22 July 2019
Happy Birthday Shelley 2019
30 years ago today
At 6:20 am Wednesday
You came to stay
I love you, my darling girl
You are my world
Just want you to know
You made my heart grow
Hope you have the best day
This sunny June day!
28th June 2019
At 6:20 am Wednesday
You came to stay
I love you, my darling girl
You are my world
Just want you to know
You made my heart grow
Hope you have the best day
This sunny June day!
28th June 2019
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