It's been two years since I watched you slip away

Missing you my darling mum
It's been 2 years today
Since I watched you slip away
Rest in peace sweetheart...

All I have of you are memories
Kept here within my heart and mind
All others see is this photograph of you
A commemorative CD; a few things in kind...

But to me you were so much more
To me you were my precious mum
Though we didn't always see eye to eye
Together we watched the years skip by
You were there with me at every single birth
My precious babies filled you with such mirth
You held them close; cuddled them; held them dear
Taking them into your enormous heart; I shed a tear
For them you would give everything
You made them clothes; knitted; crocheted
Until you could no longer hold those knitting needles
Until you could only watch them; as they too
Had precious great grandchildren for you
We have passed on all those beautiful works of heart
That you had so lovingly created...
Now your great grand daughter wears those cardigans
Evaleah is being photographed in your creations...

You were the first person I actually watched die...
I was afraid when you breathed your last
I ran to the nurses at the Berri Hospital
Only to be told "It's okay; that's the way it happens"
I sat beside you until the undertaker came
I couldn't bear to leave you alone; not that you knew
You were asleep in God's arms; knowing nothing
Your body only a shell that your soul had used
To travel through this life; your soul had fled
Your essence rose from that empty shell
That had been you; it was no longer needed...

The only other dead people I had seen before
Were Nana Lindy and my late husband Tim
They were cold and grey...
Lifeless effigies of their former selves...

I never rally had the chance to know my grandparents
They lived in Hungary; so very far away
They lived and died there; I only met them once
My Szabo grandparents for a year...Imre and Julianna
When they travelled here to visit us in the late 1960's
My Szekeres grandparents when they visited for 3 months
in 1981; I finally got to meet them...Sandor and Roza

Just over two and a half months ago
I watched my dear father slip away
Rest in peace my darling dad
I miss you both so very much

I hope that souls of loved ones do get to meet up again
In heaven; to be together for eternity; as you both deserve
I once asked my dad "was mum your first girlfriend?"
He replied; with a twinkle in his eye
"My first and my last!
The best woman ever to grace this earth"
They met when he was 16 and she was 13
They were together for over 65 years
Married for 60 long years
Only with each other all their lives...

Rest in peace my darlings
I miss you so very much...

Christmas time is here again

Christmas time is here again
Please take care of one another
There are many idiots around
Bringing stress to every other
Tail-gating; rude and abusive
Taking very little care; a bother
Stressing out our peaceful lives
Endangering our children too
What's a poor woman to do?
When they use their car 
Just like a deadly weapon
To intimidate; frighten; threaten...

Please respect each other's space
Please be kind; be loving; respectful
It's supposed to be a blessed time
Not a complete and utter kerfuffle

Miss you mum and dad

Took carnations to the graveside
Stayed and talked for a little while
It was such a glorious sunny day
Parrots chirping all around; divine
I guess I've been feeling really sad
Cos I miss you both; mum and dad
Told you that it was okay; I am okay
I am happy that you are together again
Thanked you for taking care of me
Reminisced about a few old things
Thought of so many other days
Sorry; these carnations have no scent
So mum; I sprayed the with
Your favourite Beautiful perfume...
The trees were full of buzzing bees
Such a pleasant place to talk to you
Miss you; love you; bless you both
My darlings; I am thinking of you...
Rest in peace...

26th October 2018
Centennial Park Cemetery

Stone in love with you

"Stone in love with you"
Sang by The stylistics in the 1970's

Found this unusual stone today
At Crockery Bay near Port Elliot
I thought of my darling dad
Gone from me not so long a ago
Miss you dad! Wish you were here
Wish I could touch you...
Wish i could hear your voice too
But I guess this special stone will do
It reminds me of your gentle touch
Your simple; natural; easy going style
You were ever a gentle, loving soul
You were the best dad in the world
Never an angry word of yours
Did I ever hear; for many a long year
Thinking of you today my darling
Wish you were here with me
Enjoying this glorious spring day...

30th October 2018

Walking on the beach

Great Southern Ocean
Warm northerly breeze
Took it all in my stride
As I walked out my tears
The miles passed quickly by
As I shooed away those flies
Checked out all the wonders
Right there before my eyes
I needed to get out in nature
Needed to walk away my pain
Exercise; the medicine; the cure
So much turmoil; as ever; in my brain
Dad's been gone almost two months now
I know; life will never be the same...
Time alone will ease the pain...

19th November 2018

The light between oceans

Just finished reading this amazing book
Shed my tears; ah my shoulders shook
Couldn't put it down for days now
Had to find out; simply had to know
How this tale would go...
A mother's love; for her lost child
Believing she would return, somehow...
A baby found; cherished like her own
Would it last till she's grown?
Ah the troubles that arise
When desperation covers all with lies...

24th November 2018

The hungry duckling

She came into my vision
Poor little scrawny thing 
Looking bedraggled; starving 
Looking to eat; simply anything 
The look she gave me; begging
"Please feed me some morsel
Please give me anything"
I took pity on God's little creature
Sought to ease her suffering
Found the crust of a loaf inside
Brought it to her; hurrying
I broke it into tiny little pieces
The water; softening...
She came eagerly towards me
Almost flying; scurrying
Gulping down soggy bread crumbs
Quickly; desperately
With great urgency she ate...
The next day I couldn't find her
I was worried to say the least
Poor little darling creature
Poor little hungry beast
Today she came again to find me
That look of pain within her eyes
Looking just a little stronger
I was glad to help her; it felt nice
To see her quickly come in closer
To see the longing in her eyes
And as I bent toward her
I knew now; she would survive...

3rd December 2018

Number three no celery

Number three, no celery
Each time he orders there
He eats the same regularly
The lady knows him well
"Large serve?" she asks
"Yes indeed!" he replies...
The sizzling plate arrives
Steaming from its heat
Along with the steamed rice...
Enjoying all the vegetables
He slowly eats his fill...
Dripping sauce upon the rice
I love to see the smile 
There upon his face...
Enjoyed the meals we shared
Showing each other
Just how much we care...

Thursday 7th December 2018

My father's friends at the Berri Club

Called in to the Berri club
On a glorious Thursday night 
Spoke to 2 lovely old gentlemen
Friends of my father; mates at the club
They always enjoyed plying pool together
Almost every Thursday night...
Peter had given dad one of his pool cues
He had a good spare
He watched dad playing with the old ones
He saw that dad was a good player
Felt it a shame that he didn't have a good pool cue
He remembered dad's face as he presented
Him with that special pool cue...
Ross came over to have a chat with me
Asked about my darling dad
How was he doing? Was he getting any better?
Was he going to come home?
We chatted about simple things
As I told them how dad was
Said I didn't think he would go home
As he wasn't interested in going there
He was ready to go to meet his maker
To go back to his first and only love...

Talks with my father's friends 
6th September 2018

My father the hero

We were watching "Bondi Rescue"
Dad remembered from long ago
(He was always a good swimmer; self taught...)
When he had saved two young people
As they struggled to stay alive
Two boys had jumped into the old quarry
It was full of water from the summer rains
They floundered around for a few minutes
Until suddenly panic arrived; things changed
They kept on slipping under
Into that water's depths; God help them 
They were drowning; dad leapt to their defence
He grabbed one as he was sinking 
Quickly towed him to the edge
Then hurried back to save the other
Just as he was taking his last breath
Him too he dragged to safety 
Barely breathing hard; never out of his depth!

Many long years later
A man asked my grandpa (dad's father)
He asked him where he was
And could he please
Pass on his thanks to him
For saving his life in that quarry water
When he was just a little kid
His name was Antal
(Couldn't remember his last name)
But that event he did remember
It was burnt there into his brain...

Now that other boy he saved
The rich man's son...
Never once said "Thank you" 
Kovacs Imre never sought to remember
He just went on with his life
Carried along by his own pride
Felt like he had been "shown up"
Feeling angry that he couldn't swim...

Mum was a hero too
She saved Bradley Tschirpig 
At the riverside at Moorook
He was just a little chubby boy
Pretending to drown...
Mum jumped in to save him
Even though she'd never learnt to swim
Thank God the bank was shallow
For those few close metres
And then went deeply from there on
Because she was very angry; afterwards
Knowing full well she could have drowned
Because of a little boy's prank...

Talks with my father 
6th September 2018

My grandparents from Hungary

My mother's father was a carpenter
After his training, a carter at first
At cart wright; technically (I guess)
Making people's carts...

My father's father was a farmer
With 10 living children..

He was a Russian POW in WW1
Not in a camp; but as a worker for a farmer
He had to work there for 4 years
Then he was finally allowed to walk home
He lost parts of the sole of his feet to frostbite...

Dad and his older brother Imre Jnr
Slept in the barn loft above the animals
It was lovely and warm in there
The younger children slept behind
The kememce (bread oven) 
Whilst the girls slept in another room
Sharing large beds; 3 to a bed
There were 4 boys and 6 girls
Imre, Dad, Antal and Pali
Rozsi, Zsuzsa, Iluzs, Margit, Nusi and the youngest

Talks with my father 
18th August 2018

The cold winds blew in Saint Peter

The cold winds blew in St Peter
Minus ten degrees; deep snow
He trudged on and on (my then young father)
As the wind blew from the side 
His ears were turning blue; freezing 
But the urgency of his errand
Could not be denied...
He had to keep on going
Had to get his dad's medicine
Had to make it back in time...
His elder brother called out to him
Said quite urgently as he arrived
"No! You cannot come inside!"
He grabbed that icy snow
Two huge handfuls
Rubbed them over his tingling ears
To bring back that circulation
Before he would allow him 
Into that glowing warmth inside...

Dad's older brother saved him from losing his ears
They would have melted and slipped from his head

Talks with my father
18th August 2018

Apprentice storekeeper factory worker

When my dad was 15 years of age
He was an apprentice storekeeper
Learning the trade...
In summer it was a 2-3 hour bicycle ride
To get to work in a little town 
Called Hegyeshalom; near the Austrian border
Then another 2-3 hour ride home...
In winter he had to stay there and earned nothing...
Because he had to pay his room and board
He earned a quarter of standard wages
Then half wages as he progressed
Not worth it!

He left that and got a job in the local factory!
In Mosonmagyarovar; Hungary

At 15-16 he did so well
Did a month's work in a day...

His boss was Kovacs Lajos

He was put on a machine 
Making copper/brass fittings
(Don't ask me what machine!)
He had to place his foot upon a pedal
And press it down whilst pushing a long
Piece of brass/copper into the machine
To make single fittings...
He worked out that if he kept his foot
Upon the pedal and continued to push 
The metal through; he could simply keep
Producing them over and over
Without stopping...
So that's what he did...
The boss came around to check his progress
Kovacs Lajos was amazed and praised him!
He kept on producing heaps of these fittings!
At Christmas time; Kovacs Lajos 
Gave him half a day off and said
He would clock off for him at 5:30 pm!

Later on dad was involved in making 
Brass casings for cannon shells
In a munitions factory: (Corvus Corp)
Which were sent off to be filled elsewhere

Talks with my father 
18th August 2018

Bogar the Pulli sheepdog

Bogar was dad's family dog
He was a black Pulli; sheepdog
Way back; many years ago in Hungary
The kids were often warned 
By their dad: Imre Szabo
"Behave; or I'll set Bogar on you!"

Sometimes the sheep would go far away
Up into the hills; eating the tall grass
Bogar was sent up into the hills to get them
Alone...
Two hours later 
He would be back with all the sheep...

Talks with my father
6th September 2018
Bogar translates to "Bug"

Grumpy old man

Your heart has atrophied
Has seldom been in use
Your tongue; with angry words
Spits out your continual abuse

19th October 2108

Dulcie's sausage rolls

Dulcie was the sweetest old lady

The nicest neighbour to be had

Over 93 years of age; she was

She lived alone; it wasn't so bad

While she was still sprightly

She certainly got around about

Her dear old head sparkled whitely

If she ever needed a little help

She would ask so politely and

This she would so kindly repay

With cooking; she would always repay

For her neighbours; day by day

Her sausage rolls were nutritious

Tasted scrumptious; so delicious

Lip smacking; they were eaten whole

What more could I sincerely say?

Her Anzac biscuits too; were scrumptious

Delivered by her dear old hands

Haven't eaten any so lovingly made!

Now my darling dad passed in October

Saturday the 6th was this sad day

At the end of the following week; we gathered

To farewell him along his way...

At the wake were several dishes

Spring rolls; chicken; dim sum; satay!

Pies and pasties too were delivered

But it was the sausage rolls 

That drew me that day...

Shelley looked at me; commented

"What? Mum, you're eating a sausage roll!"

I said "Yes! What of it darling?

It is for Dulcie I eat it today!"

That was on Friday the 12th of October

In this year of 2018; in Berri SA

A few weeks later I was driving 

Past Dulcie's old Goolwa unit; 

Her erstwhile stomping ground

A "For Sale" sign; there I noticed

Yes her old unit was there on display

Again time passed quite slowly

Thursday the 24th of October came around

Met up with another old neighbour

Lynne R and her pet Marley of local fame

She told me of poor Dulcie's misfortunes

Of her fall; hospitalisation in Millicent

Her hip operation, her decline and

Ah sadly; dear old Dulcie had passed away

On Friday the 12th of October 2018

Way down south; Mount Gambier way

God bless you dear old Dulcie...

Back then; a few weeks ago...

I somehow knew; you had gone your way!

Rest in Peace Dulcie Hunt

1924- 12th October 2018

Aged 94 years

Gutted 31 July 2018

I'm gutted; distressed
All my thoughts; a mess
Can't believe it could be true
Those words; hurled by you...

I thought you loved me
I thought you were fair
I thought you were supposed
To divide equally; to share
To be equal in your love
Oh dear God; heaven's above
How do I cope?
With these revelations
So much for brotherly love...

31st July 2018

Made in China

A belt made in China
Bonded Leather it claims
Looks pretty good
Until it rains...

He's had it over 10 years
Worn it once or twice
Bent over to pick something up
It fell to pieces in a trice

I recall what happened to mum
In Italy in December 1956
As they were leaving Hungary
She fell for those Itie's tricks

She bought a pair of kids shoes
Leather soles they seemed to be
Until my brother got them wet
Disintegrated; there upon his little feet

I need to make it to the river

I need to make it to the river
I need to make it out of town
I need to escape these feelings
To find some peace else I'll drown
The sky too, is grey, my darling
My tears are slowly falling down
And as I wander by these waters
Deep inside I cannot frown
My dad has gone as he had come
Done his time; gone his way; shown
His need to leave this earth behind
Goodbye my darling; my sweetheart
I will remember all those times
When we shared good times together
Today the sky may be overcast
On this sad October spring day
When; peacefully he breathed his last

RIP Sandor Szabo
12:12 pm
4/1/1935-6/10/2018

Little treasures from dad

Found some old papers
Folded neatly into fours
An old paper clip secured
Touched by hands; yours

You'd built a little bungalow 

Many long long years ago 

Now I know that address

I always wanted to know 

Lot 232 Bayview Road 

Down in North Geelong 

You sold it for £600

It went for a song...

You'd bought 2 massive boxes 

From the old Ford Motor Co

Filled with packing crates 

"Temporary bungalow" it states

"On property; 2 rooms"

These were our home 

You proudly told me 

Built by you alone...

In memories I stand 

At the top of the hill

Overlooking Corio Bay 

These linger still

One day I'd like to again see

This piece of land; so free

Empty of other homes; back then 

Just once; dear dad; amen 

My sleeping beauty

Just visited my sleeping beauty
The lovely ladies told on you
Said you'd had your breakfast
Then that was it for you...
You just wanted to sleep...
Quietly I called your name
I thought your dreams were ascending
I didn't have the heart to wake you
But now I know you were pretending
You didn't want them to bother you

7th September 2018

Evaleah's birthday blanket

A cute colourful rug
For a special little girl
Just to keep her warm
In these cold winter storms

Finished 23 July 2018

Bubbles upon a bottleneck 2017

Bubbles; locked upon a bottleneck
Transparent; rings around space
Holding fast; transfixed; what the heck
A few seconds later; gone from grace

17 August 2017

Following the Quail trail

Following the quail trail...
They left tiny footprints...
A few lizards trekked along
Cute little critters; hiding...
Enjoying their lives
In Nature; where they belong...

25th August 2018

Tiny Hitch hiker

We picked up a hitch hiker
As we drove slowly along
A tiny little hitch hiker
Determined to come along
Cruising around the mighty lake
Yes; of Lake Alexandrina fame
From Currency Creek he came
Landed on our windscreen
Enjoying his trip; we did the same
Ah; in my humorous imaginings
I could see his smiling face
Grinning crazily; enjoying our slow pace
At Clayton Bay he disappeared
We thought he'd gone for good
But as we left that little town; he stood
We continued driving around the lake
A pleasant tourist drive it is
Turning round about; gee whiz
He was thoroughly enjoying the view
Like a pet dog; out for a sunny drive
I imagined his joyful vision
He flapped his tiny wings in frisson
At Port Milang cafe we stopped for lunch
There he left us; flying off
I imagine he was saying
"Bye mates; Thanks a bunch!"

26th August 2018

Colours of the spring

I love these colours
Of the coming spring
Every tree is green
Glorious blue seas
Black volcanic rocks
White foaming waves...
I love these glorious days
The wonderful fresh breeze
Coming to us humans; all
Over these great Southern seas
All the way from Antarctica
There's a chill upon the breeze
Though the sun shines down
See me smiling as I stride out
Feel so good I could shout...

28th August 2018

Emerging from the teenage chrysalis 2012

Found some old discs and had a look on the computer
It's amazing what you find laying around
Poems by my girls; from a few years ago
Full of love and pain from teenage years
Just like my musings in days of old
If I had the chance to write them...
How we change and grow and mellow
How we emerge from out teenage chrysalis
And become the adults we are today...

28th August 2012