Begging for my life

I need you great Jehovah
I cannot survive alone
For in this life my dearest; lover
It is I who must atone
You gave your precious son 
To save me from my sins
Everything you have done
Reminds me of where I've been
Into the deepest pit you reached
You took me by the hand
Ah dear Lord I prayed; beseeched
"Please include me in your plan"
This blessed plan of salvation
This amazing coincidence
That you should find us: a nation
Worthy of your providence
Here I am a simple sinner
Begging for my life
Here I am a simple winner
Saved from all this strife

Vision test

Had my latest vision test 
With the local Optometrist 
Bright lights shone into my eyes
Hurt; just a little bit; surprised
Isn't it amazing now 
How they can look inside
Check for abnormalities 
Look at arteries; veins 
Glaucoma, cataracts
Macular degeneration...
All these that lead to fuzziness
Prescribe glasses to improve it all
Pay the cost to get a better view
Of everything that you need to do

Crying again

Tears flow from my eyes
Sadness comes by and by
Claire lost her baby...
Jamie was taken away
Ah now I'm crying 
For another fear
I'm ashamed to admit it
Ashamed to say
I am afraid of losing you 
My mother dear
Time is disappearing 
Time is nearly gone
I need to hear your voice
Through the lines
Of the telephone
I watched your face
As the doctor said
More tests to be taken
But where does this lead?
I know our days are numbered
I know our time must come
But please dear Lord
Let me not come undone
How much sadness 
Must one bear
Before it is time
To release a loved one
To your care
Ah Lord I am saddened
Ah Lord I am distraught
I am lost in that very thought 
How do I say goodbye?
How do I cope?
With all of these terrors
With all of these fears
Yes my dear saviour
What do I do?
With all of these tears

Trust in the Lord above

Into Thy hands oh Lord
I commend my spirit; my soul
For I know that all things come
To those who wait in faith: stay strong
Though externally I may not look
Like I have any strength: over and above
That of a simple woman: a simple heart
Yet here within this quiet soul; speaks
This heart of mine; that weakest human link-p0[;
Here inside I find my thoughts do fly
Up to the very heavens: up into blue skies
Communication in prayers: in thoughts
I know that we are linked: angel messengers
Descend upon those blessed stairs
Holding that gossamer ribbon between
Our beating hearts: our breathing body
Connected; alive; humming with life
So dear Lord; I trust in you; above all others
For you gave your son for my sins
You took my scarlet robes; exchanged them 
For white raiment: pure and clean
Without you in my life I am so very lost
How could I ever hope to repay that greatest cost...

How can I go on?

There's something bothering me
Something nobody else can see
A pain that wells up within my heart
A fear I guess: a dread; that's a start
Mum is not well and I know her time
Is running short: is passing forward fast
Though I pray; it does not seem enough
How can another see? Ever understand?
Unless you've faced the very same trials?
How can you feel this pain along with me?
Though I am so lucky: so very blessed 
Still I must face this utterly painful test
I love my dear mum and wish it could be
That I never, ever have to part from thee
Yet in my heart I know that time must come
When she must give up the ghost; succumb
Then; we who are left behind to grieve
Must trust in God: have faith; believe
That though she sleeps I know one day
There will come that totally amazing day
When our dear Lord will come again
When even death; shall conquered be!

Bad news

My heart is sad today
The news is bad today
Mum's myeloma hasn't gone away
There's more chemo on the way
Guess there's no other option
She's got to accept the deal
Biopsy and PET scan to come
This illness has not come undone
But as long as I have breath in me
I'll pray the Lord fill me
With hope enough to sustain me
Keep her safe and ease her pain
Hear my prayers my sovereign
Please grant her peace
Let all this not be in vain
Dear Lord please deliver us all

She's yummy

My little Elfy
Is two and a half years old
She is so precious
My joy cannot be told
She is talking a mile a minute
She expresses so many feelings
Tells me tales of wrong doing 
Tells me all about her day
Yesterday Kachirii was annoying 
She kept slobbering on me
I put up my hand and stopped her
Saying "kachirii please go away"
Elfy came and held her hand up 
Saying "Nana don't do that!"
"Kachirii is yummy: she is a good girl"
"Don't treat her that way"
What a precious little angel
God gave to us almost 3 years ago
She is such a beautiful hearted child
Who wouldn't love her
Just as much as I do
Each and every single day...

The other day daddy was joking 
Saying Nana was to blame
Elfy ably defended me 
Saying "No Nana didn't do it
Nana is yummy: Nana is okay"
Such a precious little angel
Thank you dear Lord I pray
For sending gorgeous little angels
To defend us each and every day

Another day in paradise

Trying to get through another day

Time marches forward: I need to pray
Each minute that passes: goes away
Makes me wonder...
How much longer will she stay?
Her life is almost over
Mine is past midway
My children, are grown up
No longer under my sway...
Grand children: my pleasures
I treasure each and every day
For I know not when the bell will toll
I know not when it will be my turn
To leave: to go away...
Until then I must be thankful
I must be full of joy
For in living this earthly life
Each and every day is a blessing 
Each day that comes my way
Is to be treasured: appreciated
Made the most of: accepted with grace
Many went to bed last night 
Planned to be with family today
Yet they did not wake up
To greet another blessed day
Who knows when time is done?
Who has that knowledge: not I 
Only God in heaven has the answers
Only our dear Father knows our days
He is the Almighty: Alpha and Omega
In His hands are our all our lives placed
His is the will that holds us safe each day

Human touch

Many only ever dream
Of a life fulfilled
Many only ever seem
To fantasise about love
Too few are joined
In blessed matrimony
Too few live a life: coined
Too few live life in harmony

Chorus
How long since you felt?
Another human's; loving touch
How long since you heard?
Another loving human voice

Some days quickly pass us by
Don't you ever wonder why?
You can exist in such a void
Without the slightest touch; cry
Out your pain into the skies
Drop your tears; like raindrops fall
Without any feeling at all; lies
You need to feel another's touch

Chorus
How long since you felt?
Another human's; loving touch
How long since you heard?
Another loving human voice

You desire to hear those gentle words
You need to feel a loving touch
But at what cost; will you pay the price?
Yet feel alone; upon tempest tossed
Dear love you are alone so much
You do not comprehend your loss
A simple word; a gentle touch
Forgotten now; how count you the cost?

Understanding life

Books full of knowledge
Books full of stuff
Do we ever feel
Like we ever know enough
We fill up our heads
We fill up our hearts
But still we struggle
To understand the arts
Of life...
Does reading make us smarter?
Does it fill up that emptiness?
Does it make us understand?
Or do we then comprehend less?
How can we know another?
Until we walk some miles?
In the shoes of our brother
And finally see through his eyes...

Hero

You're my hero
You're my strong man
You take care of me
You take me by the hand
I need your protection
I need your love too
I feel like God sent me
An angel just like you

Sleep tight

Goodnight sweetheart 

It's time to go; 

Sleep beckons

It's late you know 

Slumber calls to me 

Come lay your head 

Sweet dreams

It's time for bed

Free falling

I'm free falling
Like tiny raindrops
In a sun shower
Tiny little pieces
Falling from blue skies
Lifted up by the breeze
Ah my heart does squeeze
Tight like a beating drum
Within me my blood hums
I'm alive and feeling great
Life is good for me mate
Happiness; come at last
I let go of my sad past
A new world opens up
I drink from a bottomless cup
Sweet water from a fountain
I climb up into the mountains
There I swoop and glide
Yes; I'm free falling inside

Diabetes

Diabetes 

I simply refuse to get it 

No doubt about it 

Diabetes; I fight it

With diet and exercise

Ever the worldly wise

It is not impossible

Nor improbable to halt it

Turn off those genetic switches 

Avoid the body's glitches 

Eat fresh whole vegetables 

Live longer and better 

Be life's go getter  

Have faith with diet and exercise 

Morning has broken

Morning has broken
Morning has come
Clouds cover this earth
No sunshine my love
Though birds are winging
Don't hear much singing
Just a few magpies
Maybe some sparrows
Where are the songbirds?
Where are the doves?
I will feel lost here
Until my love calls
I hear the cooing
I know day has begun
But still there is sorrow
Until I know
Just where I stand
Ah my dear Lord
Help me understand

How do I know?

How do I know?
How do I feel?
Do you love me?
Is this love real?
Lost without you
Just want to squeal
Can't do it
Cannot simply be
If you were to say to me
If you set me free
I need to feel your arms around me
I need to know the truth
Am I worthy?
Am I good enough?
Do I deserve your love?

After the storm has passed

Storm winds upon the horizon
Darkness falls throughout the day
Clouds obscure the sunlight son
Nothing can stand in their way
Trees falling upon darkened streets
Branches: weakened: giving way
Rain squalls: damage: flooding 
Roads: bridges: swept away
Destruction comes blowing our way

Roundabout

Life is like a roundabout

The world turns round and round

Up and down the water spout

Let everything just slip and slide

Nothing stops life spinning round

Like pain within the heart and soul

I guess it doesn't really matter

Once the whole story is thus told

Love makes the world go round

So it is they say: but lover’s spats

Cause ups and downs: never fear

If time can heal the deepest hurts

Then we must continue on my dear

So "love me"; "love me not"

Love me once again...

I guess maybe ‘tis time I got

Off this high fence of mine

And took a good look around

Any advice right now sounds good

Got to get this fire within my blood

Quenched: cooled...

Maybe I have been a silly old fool...

Hurtful words

Why do we say things?
Why do we feel so sad?
Why do some words fall
Heavy upon the tongue
Too late to take it back
Too late to apologise
Ah the pain when words
Slip and cut like knives

It's only love

Thought it would never come

It's only love; they say

It's only love...

Thought I'd be alone

It's only love they tell me

It's only love...

Thought I'd never know

It's only love; they say

It's only love...

Thought I'd die long before

This love would find me

It's only love...

They tell me

It's only love...

But now I've found you

I know they lied

It's only love

They told me

How little they knew

Just how love confounds us

It's more than this

It’s more than a simple feeling

It's more like bliss

Elfy's Joy

What joy to see her precious smile
When Elfy welcomes me a while
Been away for several days
Enjoying fresh air and exercise
Sea breezes blowing along the shores
As we walked a mile or three
Now as I return home you see
Precious Elfy welcomes me; inside
Tells me how she loves to be
Playing quietly with Puzzles: true
We sing the alphabet song as you know
Counting puzzle pieces; back they go
Into their plastic bags; one by one
Such simply pleasures; joyful fun
As we enjoy our time; one on one
Her sweet little voice telling me
She's found the animals two by two
Names them all as we play today
Ah sweet Elfy...you make my day!

Happiness glows

Sometimes you can literally see

Happiness glowing joyfully 

Smiles shine forth from twinkling eyes

Radiating outwards from those lips

A lilting sweetness in word escapes

As around the room you lightly traipse 

Good feelings simply emanate 

Like warmth from morning sun 

Upon a child's upturned face...

'Tis a joy to be a part of this human race 

When happiness comes and stays...

Uncertainty

Living with uncertainty
Too much to bear
The depth of depression
Nobody who really cares
Homeless without shelter
Public walk on by
Turning away their faces
Rather than seeing them cry
Nobody wants to know the truth
Nobody has the heart
They only read the morning papers
Thinking they understand in part
But what really matters is
That nobody has walked in their shoes
Only those who suffer
Ever comprehend their blues...

Right or wrong

Who decides what is right or wrong?
We have the choice to be weak or strong
Does love change our sensibilities?
Does it make us fear for our heart?
How do we go on with our lives?
When we are afraid of the dark
When we close ourselves in
No longer game to explore
What fences do we build up?
Hoping to keep the wolf from the door
Can we exist within our sheltered gates?
Can we ever creep outside seeking mates?
Does this human existence declare war?
Upon seeming sensibilities and thoughts
Are we kept within certain boundaries?
By these unwritten social laws
God help us all when we need to find out
Just what should be done in these times?
When nothing is held sacred
When nothing remains the same

Inside her heart

The little girl has grown up
Into a woman; strong
Her heart no longer pained
For all the things she did wrong
Her life has been a struggle
Her life has gone unsung
But now a new day is dawning
She need no longer struggle on
After all the ups and downs
After all her dreams fell through
Now her day is coming
Now her time is here; I'm telling you
Good things come to those who wait
Patiently for what else is one to do?
The choice was hers to begin with
The consequences followed through
Now her patience is her virtue
Her strength has grown apace
She is a blessed among
This amazing human race...

Quiet conversation

Ah the beauty of conversation
Quite content to be discussed 
All matters brought forward as 
An opening to further our trust 
We talk of many matters both 
Honest, sublime; yes, all the time 
Anything and everything you see
Is discussed between you and me 
Be it spiritual, comical, satyrical
Nothing is too trivial for us to see
If we can discover something new
Something unusual; confusing or 
Even diabolical...we'll check it out 
Laugh about it; cry about it 
There is no doubt about it 
Should I shout about it?
Such pleasure we can never assume 
In all these words we exhume 
From within our minds and souls
Only to enjoy them; tame them
Yes we exclaim them...
Ah these words
In our conversations... 
Become our demonstrations 
Of our love and affection
Sending us in new directions 
Toward further conversations 
Let us never hold our peace...

What's in the fridge?

What's in the fridge?
On any given day
That could make a meal
That could save the day
Fresh vegetables
Hokkein noodles too
Add some onion
Add a little soy sauce
Add some spice too
Cook it up: stirred with love
Guess that'll do

Meet me at the river

Meet me at the river
Go on a dinner cruise
Eat a meal: talk a while
See the glorious sunset
Watch the changing skies
Travel up the River Murray
Breathe in the pleasant air
See those glorious sights
Climb up the steepest stairs
Enjoy friendship God has given us
Celebrate our birthdays
Enjoy our special anniversaries
Remember departed loved ones too
Yes; all these we'll do
Beneath the darkening skies...

In a darkened room

In a darkened room 
There she lies
No relief in darkness 
For her pain-filled eyes

In a darkened room
There he lies
No exception granted
Almost paralysed

In a darkened room
There they realise
So-called modern medicine
Leaves them high and dry

In a darkened room
Their pain unrecognised
Nobody really wants to hear
Nor able to ease their sighs

My prayer list

So many names
On my prayer list
My dear Lord knows
Without my saying this
I know He knows
Exactly who I wish
To pray for
Exactly who I bless
For He sees within me
He understands my pleas
He knows all things
That my prayer brings
Though the list grows longer
Though many more come each day
I know He hears my thoughts
I know He sees my tears
Yes I know dear Jesus knows
All of our many fears
He answers our imploring
He sends gifts to us each day
My prayer list grows ever longer
As my Lord hears my prayers

Golden sunset

Ball of golden sun
Setting in the west
Over seas you descend
At day's end you rest
Sabbath now has begun
With this setting of the sun
Our Lord's blessings we accept
As we uplift our voices; yes
Praise Him who created us all
Praise Him who took our fall

Connection

Strange feelings within my heart
Like I never ever want to be apart
Has the universe granted me wings?
Filled my heart full of wonderful things?
Such blessed joy has come my way
For I know my love has come to stay

To hear you laughing

I love to hear you laughing
I love to see you smile
The joy of your eyes sparkling
Sends me signals so sublime

My Mother's Day

My mother is so beautiful
To me she is a Rose...
Rose by nature; Rose by name
Her cooking is her fame
She always took good care of us
Always worked from dawn till dusk
Never did she ever seem to cease
Cooked, baked, washed, cleaned
We were well fed; full of joy...
Now I wish to thank her 
For all of her work that never ended
Thank you mum for everything
You should be commended
For the highest honour
For the very best in life
For almost 60 years now
You have been dear dad's wife
Next week on the 14th of May
Will be your 60th wedding anniversary
So happy Mother's Day for today
And for next week: Happy Anniversary!

Graveside visit

I visited your grave today

It was a sad occasion too
Didn't have much to say
Took some flowers for you
(I know you cannot hear me anyway)
So I walked along that empty road
It was near the end of the day
Peace and quiet followed me
As I stepped out and strode away
Nobody else was there at all
just me; alone; all by myself...
I read the plaque with your name
Read it over several times it's true
It still doesn't seem real you see
That I can no longer talk to you
I remember your cold face that day
Thoughts that catapulted round my mind
How could this be you; so quiet and still
How was it possible? How could it be?
That you had left us far behind
Left us to cry and grieve...
To this very day; it is difficult to believe...

Places in my heart

There are many places in my heart
Where I keep my special memories
Sometimes all is takes is a few minutes
A special place; a simple thought or two
They all come flooding back through
When I return to where we used to go...
As I sit and contemplate those days
Breathing in the fresh air: taking in the rays
It's like time is standing so very still
And as I flip back through those memories
There are so many things that come to me
Children's laughter: happy smiles: joy
Watching them run about and play...
The years slip by until I end up back here
Yes to this very day: all has changed it's true
Now it is my grand children's voices that I hear
Their little voices: their cries my ears hear
Their precious love it is that I hold so dear...

6 years ago

Six years ago today
I cried my tears
Called unto my Lord
Told Him all my fears
He heard my heart cry out
He saw my bitter tears
As I; my soul; laid bare
"Please Lord forgive me
For I am ill and weak
I am useless to you all"
As I cried my tears
I heard a voice inside my head
"Do not be afraid my daughter
Do not be worried now
I have heard your voice
I have seen your tears
This to you I vow
I can use you
Put aside your fears"

Memories in the park

Breathed in the fresh air
Along with many memories
Listened to birds chirping
High above me in the trees
A dog barking; a child crying 
Ah my heart is simply trying 
To recall those long ago days
Our family; young and free
Try as I might; in so many ways
I cannot recall your happy face
You have been gone so long
Left us over two years ago
But I remember our visits
To this beautiful park...
Our children young; exploring
The blessed fresh air; enjoying
So many things have changed
Yet others remain almost the same
The trees are much taller
The grass just as green as ever
I am so much older
Our children have flown the coop
But here; I can almost hear
Their yelling; their screaming; their fun
Just as they were years ago
Playing; here in the sun

Richard's Park
Osmond Terrace, Norwood

My little angel

I hear a little angel singing
I hear a blessed little voice
My dear little angel is winging
Closer to my heart: no choice
But to love my little angel
No choice but to feel this free
My little angel is singing 
Yes she is singing: just for me

Colours of the morning

I love the colours of the morning
The blessed glow of sunrise dawning
The way light penetrates the gloom
Fingers filtering softly into my room
Brightness comes with each dawning
As I lay in my warm bed; yawning
Birds serenade my wakefulness
Dear Lord I feel so truly blessed

How I see me

It is still a great mystery to me
How the world may see me
For when I see myself you know
I do not see myself aglow
Because I cannot understand
The outer view; only the inner
Yes what I see of me is
And always has been: the sinner
How I feel inside my heart and head
May not be the same as what has led
Me to act the way I might think
Many times have I been upon the brink
Tottering; there; about to fall
Wondering about this life and all
That it encompasses; that it entails
Ah sometimes the heart in me simply fails
And there I am; lost and alone
Wondering how this sinner might atone
For all the stupid things I've said and done...
To feel the greatest need to succeed
I guess I must rely upon this mind
For herein it is that I will find
My peace, my power, my kind
Only here inside my head am I me
That real me that abides
The soul within this shell...
Has it only been my kind of hell?
That I have lived through...
Does any other soul truly understand?
Does anyone comprehend this mind?
What can any know of how I feel?
Unless they have travelled here
Beside me; within me; inside me
Does my turbulence affect only me?
No of course not; it spills over
It splashes out onto the ground
It dampens those around me too
It shakes the ground beneath my feet
Like an earthquake it makes me shudder
Like an aura it emanates and drifts
Misty and dark at times; sometimes clear
Sometimes light and powerful
The lighthouse above me shows
Only candlelight within me glows
I am but a tiny light that tries
To fight the darkness around us all
Though dim; still it is a faint glow
Can you see it? Let me know
I would share it round with all
For it is only through sharing our journey
That we may remotely affect another
Only through sharing the peace and pain
That we may make some little gain
In this journey we call life...

Have I lost my faith?

Have I lost my faith?
Have I lost my belief?
Though I pray for my mum?
Will death come like a thief?
Leukaemia has left her weakened
Chemotherapy even more so
She pants as she walks along
Gasping for her every breath
I feel so useless when I hear her
I feel like I am so very lost
For though I pray daily
Still her health is failing...
Though I ask the Lord for His peace
Still I find there is no release...
What more can I do but pray?
I have asked the Lord for healing
For many have I prayed and believed...
Yet I know she does not believe...
I know she has not my faith...
But have I lost what faith I had?
In asking for the Lord to heal her
If I do not believe He will answer
These prayers that I pray daily...
What right have I to demand of Him?
That He save my mother's life
And not that of some other?
Ah Lord many profess to pray
For her healing: promising miracles
Yet still she suffers: still she sighs
And I: I am left to doubt in my fear
That my Lord even hears me...
Please forgive my doubting heart...

Lord please come soon

If innovation 
Comes from readily sharing...
Information
Rather than hoarding it...

What chance has this world got?
So many greedy people
Out to make their bloody money
Not caring about our earth...
Not caring about our world...
What have our children?
Got to look forward to 
When profits come before people!
When money becomes the golden word!
God help us all upon this poor earth

Too many cry out in hunger
Too many cry out in pain
Many do not want to hear but
We need this blessed latter rain...

Lord, please come soon...

Chemistry

I am baring my soul
I am open to your gaze
You see deep inside of me
Through this impenetrable haze
We are connected...
Mentally, physically, spiritually too
This chemistry is all encompassing 
It overcomes all previous ties
Ah my love I am falling 
Deep into your mysterious eyes...

Charades

You tell me you don't want me
I don't know what to believe
When I set out to go away
You will not let me leave
You say "Go away" 
You say "I hate you"
But inside you waver
Inside you cry your tears
Your lips will not say it
Your lips belie your fears
We play this game of charades
We play at making up
But inside I am deflated
All good feelings are negated
Those words you cannot say
Are left there in a heap
You push us away
Make me feel like I am dead
For those awful words that 
You will not say out loud
Those words I hear within my head
Those words that lie; still and cold
Between us
Those words you cannot say
"Please stay" 
Ever left unsaid...