Have I lost my faith?

Have I lost my faith?
Have I lost my belief?
Though I pray for my mum?
Will death come like a thief?
Leukaemia has left her weakened
Chemotherapy even more so
She pants as she walks along
Gasping for her every breath
I feel so useless when I hear her
I feel like I am so very lost
For though I pray daily
Still her health is failing...
Though I ask the Lord for His peace
Still I find there is no release...
What more can I do but pray?
I have asked the Lord for healing
For many have I prayed and believed...
Yet I know she does not believe...
I know she has not my faith...
But have I lost what faith I had?
In asking for the Lord to heal her
If I do not believe He will answer
These prayers that I pray daily...
What right have I to demand of Him?
That He save my mother's life
And not that of some other?
Ah Lord many profess to pray
For her healing: promising miracles
Yet still she suffers: still she sighs
And I: I am left to doubt in my fear
That my Lord even hears me...
Please forgive my doubting heart...