How I see me

It is still a great mystery to me
How the world may see me
For when I see myself you know
I do not see myself aglow
Because I cannot understand
The outer view; only the inner
Yes what I see of me is
And always has been: the sinner
How I feel inside my heart and head
May not be the same as what has led
Me to act the way I might think
Many times have I been upon the brink
Tottering; there; about to fall
Wondering about this life and all
That it encompasses; that it entails
Ah sometimes the heart in me simply fails
And there I am; lost and alone
Wondering how this sinner might atone
For all the stupid things I've said and done...
To feel the greatest need to succeed
I guess I must rely upon this mind
For herein it is that I will find
My peace, my power, my kind
Only here inside my head am I me
That real me that abides
The soul within this shell...
Has it only been my kind of hell?
That I have lived through...
Does any other soul truly understand?
Does anyone comprehend this mind?
What can any know of how I feel?
Unless they have travelled here
Beside me; within me; inside me
Does my turbulence affect only me?
No of course not; it spills over
It splashes out onto the ground
It dampens those around me too
It shakes the ground beneath my feet
Like an earthquake it makes me shudder
Like an aura it emanates and drifts
Misty and dark at times; sometimes clear
Sometimes light and powerful
The lighthouse above me shows
Only candlelight within me glows
I am but a tiny light that tries
To fight the darkness around us all
Though dim; still it is a faint glow
Can you see it? Let me know
I would share it round with all
For it is only through sharing our journey
That we may remotely affect another
Only through sharing the peace and pain
That we may make some little gain
In this journey we call life...