Amy and Evaleah

Amy and Evaleah are finally getting on
Working together just as God planned
Amy is still a bit skittish but now
Evaleah is a lot calmer: gentler: wiser
Amy was lying down beside me as I wrote
Evaleah came up and gently patted her
Amy didn't get up and run away as usual
She just continued on and stayed still
As Evaleah touched her head and stoked her
It was such a special time for me to see
A softening: acceptance: a beautiful scene!

The special garden

Found this lovely verse in an old book
Don't even know who wrote it
But it touched a chord inside of me
So I just had to print and share it!

There's a special garden
Where flowers of friendship grow
It's nurtured by the kindness
And concern that good friends show
The seedlings are the helpful deeds
That friends so gladly do
And love and laughter are the showers
That strengthen and renew

Guardian angel

A few years ago my honey gave to me

A surprise present: a precious gift

One that I still appreciate to this day

He went behind my back to find it

Had it wrapped: brown paper around it

It was a gift so sweet you see

For it was and is of my guardian angel

These words in many languages

Are printed around the edge

"L'ange Gardien"; "El Angel de la Guarda"

"The Holy Angel"; "H.L.Schutzengel"

"L'angelo tutelare" Imprint permittitur 

Ordinarius episco patis Limburgensis

Thank you honey: I treasure it still!

End of day

Now as day is ending
Now as night is here
The sun pinkens in the sky
Says goodnight: says goodbye
Just until the dawn appears
Then another day is here
Another chance to show your love
Another day to praise our Lord above!

27 September 2014
Christie's Beach

Christie's Beach sunset

I am sitting at the beach
Waiting for the sun to set
The waves are calling to me
The sea breezes blow and
This I know: you are so far away
From me: how can you know?
What I am thinking: what I am feeling?
What goes on below: inside of me?
Too many problems get in the way
But on this beautiful Sabbath day
I am close to you; my Saviour!
I am waiting for that day
When I will see your face
Clear as brightest day!

Dream on little girl

Dream on little girl
Dream long about your world
Dream of love and laughter
Dream of happy ever after

But it is not for you
No it is not for you

Dream on little girl
Dream of everything you need
Dream of your shining knight
Dream of winning your fight

But it is still untrue
Yes it is still untrue

Dream  on little girl
Keep heading for that light
Though still it is darkest night
Another understands your plight

You will get your due
Yes you will get your due

Dream on little girl
Never give up on your dreams
Life is tough but after all
You will find love and laughter

Later on it will come to you
Later on it will be for you

Crying at the beach

No one can see my tears

None can hear me cry

They can look but for me

I came to hear the sea

Crashing waves overpower

The aches of every living hour

Peace comes unto me

As I see and hear the sea

Sunshine's reflected

My pain: I reject it

Peace: hear the waves

God's love: this tired mind craves

Oh Lord it is Thy peace

That my poor heart needs

With every breath I take

I cry out my need

Flee from me I cry

I will not let you win

I will overcome: I will fly

No you will never win!

Though sinfulness was my life

Now after all this strife

I will cling to my Rock

I will hang on for dear life

Come unto me: Jesus cries

I will your burdens bear

I am the living bread

Just allow me to come near!

Letting go

I heard a new thing today
It felt weird I really must say
I rang up to organise something
It felt so strange to hear him say
"Yes Cassie is at home today"
Doesn't make much sense to you I bet
But for me it was strange to say the least
You see I just sold our old family home
It was so difficult to let it go but
I could not hold on to those memories
Could not help but surrender: release
So now it is in another's hands
Now it's home to someone else
Now they will make their plans
They will have it as their place
And though it hurts me to let it go
I must go forward: move and grow
So goodbye old house full of memories
I will think of you and tears will ease
Yes, eventually the tears will slow
For I know that God works miracles
Yes he does: he sends us here and there
He understands our simple plans
Understands our simple lives
And as He guides and shows us
Along new paths to where-ever 
He would have us go
He is right there beside us
Leading the way!

RIP Debra Cavallaro Hopkins

Today as I sorted through some stuff
I found a piece of card you'd written on
Seeing your hand writing was tough
Cause you've been gone a while: long gone
It was a recipe for "Friendship cake"
Can't remember when it's from
But honey I wish I could turn back time and take
The time to speak a while: maybe make you smile
Those were the days so long ago
When you were always on the go
We'd dance and sing and drink to you
We'd walk a mile and talk a while
But now you've gone to sleep a while
Waiting for that time to finally come
When all will change from bad to good
As Jesus comes again that's understood
He'll wake us all and take us all up to heaven
Yes then we'll say hello and smile again
Just like we did when time stood still
Yes like we did when we were young!

Here with me

I am sharing my inner most pain 

Because I have to let it go: again
The things I've held inside for years
Are bringing me close to tears
But I cannot hold it in any longer
As I let each pain and fear escape
It only makes me stronger! 
Yes I was molested as a little girl
Yes it changed the way I see the world
Yes it hurt so much to hold it in
But now I must let it go: this life of sin
So as I share these darkest things
Please don't judge me as I begin
This journey must take place
This emptying of pain: this cleansing rain
Though painful to say the very least
I must release this terrible beast
It has eaten at my soul for years
It has followed me from west to east
Now as I finally cast these words upon the seas
I ask for understanding if you please
Just let me empty out this rubbish bin
Just let me loose this pain from within
I cannot hide it any longer
I must get it out to grow stronger
So lend your hearts and ears a while
Help me bare my soul a while
Listen and yes please understand
This life was never as I would have planned
Though my heart was troubled for so long
Now as I give it up to God: He understands
He has already washed me clean
His blood and tears were shed for me
Now as I cry these salty tears for me
For that innocent child I used to be
Though they number millions: drops in the sea
The peace I seek will comfort me
And though I was close to drowning underneath 
I will rise above the breakers: yes indeed
For my Lord and Saviour is right here with me

Kachirii

We've got a new puppy
She's only 8 weeks old
She barked at me
The other morning 
As I was coming inside
She's such a little cutie
She's such a little pup
Being trained and loved
That's how to bring her up
She is a part of our family
She will grow to fit right in
Thank God for little Kachirii
Thank you for giving her!
To be a part of this family
To be a beautiful pet
Yes she'll be wonderful
A love never to regret!

Day 7 Thankfulness Challenge 19 Sept 2014

I am thankful for: 

One: 

Being able to catch up with so many dear friends today
Though under sad circumstances to say the least
It has been a good day
The funeral service for Celia and Peter Thiel was wonderful
So many came to pay their respects 
So many travelled from near and far
By plane and car
Gathered together to farewell them but
I know we will meet again! 

Two: 

I was finally able to meet up
And say thank you to John Thiel
For all those wonderful bible studies he prepared
For all those many hours we shared back then
With me learning the lessons I needed
To set me upon the right path
Though I have sadly slipped and fell
It was such a pleasure to tell
How much those times have 
Remained in my memories
The joy upon his face as we
Sat down and reminisced
As I finally confessed about
That very first meeting
Normally Tim would have been the one
To open up the door and welcome him
But that evening he declined
And it was my invitation 
That brought John into our rented home 
From then to now: many years
From then to now: many tears 
Have been shed
But as life goes on around us
We have to thank The Lord 
He found us...took us up
Bound us with his precious love 
Thank you dearest lord for keeping us safe
All of these many long years!

Three: 

Though the sun has set upon some lives
Still we who go on: who survive
Must take hold of dear Jesus' precious word
Must write each word upon our hearts 
Must carry them into battle 
Must take hold of each beautiful promise
Accepting the gospel truth
That where He is we too will go
For this is His promise you know! 
So when the appointed time does come
I know we will see Him coming in the clouds
In glory, in majesty, in power
Yes: these things I pray for
Every waking hour!
Amen

Day 6 Thankfulness Challenge 18 Sept 2014

I am thankful for:

One: 
Evaleah is one year old today 
Happy birthday precious one
I treasure just how close
You and I have become!
We laugh and play together
We snuggle up real close
But you know what I love the most? 
The way you come to me
For cuddles, for comfort
For many little things
Thank you Lord for the joy
My precious little girl
My beautiful granddaughter brings! 

Two: 
The beach is so close
I love to go and stare
At those amazing waves
That always appear there
The smell of the briny sea
Does something to me
It touches something 
Deep within my soul
I just have accept 
That crashing water 
Brings negative ions 
And frees me from turmoil

Three: 
I thank The Lord for giving me
The chance to make amends
For all the silly things
That living a human life sends

Dust if you must

Found this wonderful poem on Facebook

Dust if you must but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter
Bake a cake or plant a seed
Ponder the difference between want and need

Dust if you must but there's not much time
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb
Music to hear and books to read
Friends to cherish and life to lead

Dust if you must but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain
This day will not come around again

Dust if you must but bear in mind
Old age will come and its not kind
And when you go - and go you must
You, yourself will make more dust!

Depression

Depression is a curse

Gradually gets worse and worse

Couldn’t be bothered with anything

There are days when

It’s all just too much

Feel so down: so out of touch!

Nothing tastes any good

Don’t feel like eating food

Nothing is inviting: plain and…

Everything is bland and drear

Don’t want to get out of bed

There are crazy thoughts inside my head

Trapped inside my silly brain

Things that I cannot explain

Returned to me

After our falling out

After I refused to give

Those things you wanted

For I would not succumb

To your needs: your demands

You finally sent it back

My book of poetry

Sent to you with love

Dear Lord in heaven up above

I want to help others

But I will not be lied to

Will not be compromised

My work for You Lord

Means everything to me

Oh, if only others could see

How easy it could be

To live with You inside

Just surrender all to the Lord

Just take Him at His very word

Allow the good to live inside

Allow His love to be your guide!

Teddy Bear

I held the Teddy Bear you gave me

I held it snuggled close

Its times like these my honey

These memories upset me most

We came to clean and tidy

We came to sort and keep

Though it came very close

We two: we just didn’t weep

The road is long and winding

Some parts are even steep

But though we finally arrived there

This house we just cannot keep

So we must tidy up our lives now

We must decide on what must go

We must sort through these memories

Some we will just have to let go

26 years of life to sort through

26 years of laughter and of tears

Someone else will make a life here

Just like we did all those years ago

Alone in a crowd

Why is it that I feel?

So alone: even in a crowd

Why is it that I feel?

Like I missed the boat?

Why is it that I feel?

So different: so alien?

Why is it that I feel?

Deserted: left out?

Is it sin that sets me apart?

Is it my nervous disposition?

Dear Lord, help me with these thoughts

These failings: these inadequacies

Sometimes I feel so “ill at ease”

How does a person change?

Get over these silly thoughts?

Without some sort of outside aid?

Help me not to be afraid!

Help me conquer foolish fears!

Enlighten my mind and soul!

Let your love be my goal!

Lord, please continue: living here!

Right inside of my very being!

Ever lead and guide me!

Yes: live right here inside of me!

A voice long silent

Can you love someone?

But not actually like them?

Is it fair that one should?

Always be right: ad infinitum?

Where is the fairness in life?

When a man is always “above”

His poor long-suffering wife

What ever happened to “deal with love”?

When there is no empathy?

When there is no understanding?

Only one-sidedness: can’t even hide it!

How does one survive without some tragic cost?

When depression comes lumbering?

From the simple lack of empathy!

From being left too long without a voice!

For poor women: what is their choice?

“Put up and shut up” that’s a joke!

How does the poor old bloke

Like it when the table’s turned?

When it his words that are spurned?

How would he like it if it was his little girl?

In the firing line: would that still be fine?

I still remember the look upon my dad’s face

As he left that day: sad to leave: just in case!

His eyes begged of him: “please don’t hurt her!

Please, love her! Please, be kind!”

Must I turn away from my girl: must I leave?

How it hurt his heart: in being thus deceived!

Pretending all is well: pretending that you fell

Hiding behind heavy make-up: long sleeves

Avoiding people’s eyes: using anything to disguise

Anything to escape those sympathetic gazes

Prayer Arrows

As I wrote a letter to my husband
Sadly now deceased: anger and frustration
Were the nature of my memories
My tears were tumbling from me
Pouring from my eyes...
Anguish pouring: from my troubled heart
Page after page came tumbling out
Then as if another started writing
The words began to change
These are the words that fell from my hand

I was afraid of you for many years
Afraid of your foul temper it's true
Until I learned to pray when you were angry
Learned to pray and turn that angry tide

It was then I realised that love works better
Love and prayer combined became my weapons
Instead of living in fear of your demons
I battled with heartfelt prayer: for your very soul

I used to think you were possessed at times
I could see that demon in your eyes...
I could see it taking over your features
Like you were taken over by a devil in disguise...

But instead of fear and loathing
I learned to battle with heart and soul
Knowing you were being eaten up
By some dark creature: chewing at your soul

"My prayers became my arrows
Good thoughts were my goal
Our home was our battlefield
Our children; wounded: fell

I learned to change my expectations
Learned to harvest what I sowed
Instead of anger and frustations
I nurtured, calmed and thus controlled"

Let your tears come

Let your tears come honey
Let them come
They show how much you care
And then some
They show how much
Your daddy meant to you
He'll always be right there honey
Yes he surely will
He'll always be right there
In your precious memories!

I miss you dad 17 sept

I miss you dad
I miss your smiles
Your face lit up with joy
I miss your hugs
Warm and strong
Protection from the darkness
I miss the nights
We'd talk for hours
Or fly through space on Voyager
I miss your jokes
Your clever mind
That sense of humour
You really cracked me up
Sometimes
I miss you dad
And I'm having trouble
Dealing with how and why
You went away
I wish I could see you
Hug you and tell you
All the things I have to say!

By Vanessa

Day 5 Thankfulness challenge 17 September 2014

I am thankful for: 

One:

The warmth of the sun...
The ability to just have fun...
For being able to feel...
The pleasures of life...
Simple little things...
Like the softest breeze...
The rustling leaves on trees...
Knowing that I am not alone...
Having a telephone...
We are so lucky to live here...
In Australia: while others... 
Have so little...

Two:

 
Having hot water for a shower
At any time of day
The negative ions that 
Revitalise our brains
The fresh smell after a rain
The new grass that grows
All these things that show 
That God does exist
No matter our trials 
He is the author and finisher of our faith
He it is whom I appreciate
For His love that never wanes

Three:

 
To hear the laughter of my little grandkids
Their voices as they play
Though sometimes I wish I had
A volume control!

Day 4 Thankfulness challenge 16 September 2014

I am thankful for: 

One: 

we'll meet again

I was checking my email folder
Clearing out new ones: some older
Came across a few from Celia Thiel 
Rest in peace dear Celia: I miss you and Peter
It hit me that I'll never get any more
No not one will come: for you are gone
Asleep now in The Lord forever more
Yet I know that when Jesus comes again
When He comes to make ALL right
Even death will conquered be
It is then that we will see: yes then
When the dead in Christ will rise
Then when you are brought back to life
Then we will meet again in heaven
It is one thought that strengthens me! 

Two: 

I am thankful that Michael is living with Shelley 
It was so beautiful to see the two of them last night 
Though we cried as we reminisced
We also laughed together about old times
About silly things we'd done
About life in general
We shared our burdens and halved them as we cried

Three: 

I am thankful to have my tiny granny flat
Just a few metres away from the house
Today we begin to renovate the garage
I am looking forward to a little more space
Yes: I am try thankful Lord that you love me!

Day 3 Thankfulness Challenge 15 Sept 2014

One: 

My dear little dog Amy
She is 12 years old 
I love the way she runs around
She is always so happy 
Whenever I get home
She makes my days a pleasure
For she has settled in so well
Thank you Lord for Amy
My precious little pet
I hope to have her around
For many long years yet!

Two:

 
I thank The Lord for Kaiser
Our gorgeous German shepherd dog
He was a part of our family
He was such a loving boy
Oh how he loved the beach
When he chased those seagulls
He was so full of joy
The look of wonder upon his face 
As he exercised each day
I thank The Lord for giving him
Into our care for so many years

Three: 

I thank The Lord for good memories 
And also for the bad
They show me all those
Precious days gone by
They are there for me to recall
To think about and be glad
Too many times we forget
That life is meant to be lived
If we stay in the past we wither
But if we can learn from our mistakes
If we move forward
Even if it is a minuscule amount
Little by little each day
So many wonderful blessings 
Are there for us every single day!

Day 2 Thankfulness Challenge 14 Sept 2014

 I am thankful for: 

One: 

Waking up in my nice warm bed
Knowing everything is going as it should
My dear Lord lives within my heart
Of my life He is an essential part

Two:

Hearing birds serenading 
Outside my window
Pigeons cooing
Rosellas singing
It is a pleasure to simply
Be able to hear!

Three: 

Knowing my daughter is
Just a few metres away
Knowing I am a part
Of her little family's day
Feeling loved and appreciated!

Day 1 of Thankfulness Challenge 13 Sept 2014

I am thankful for: 

The first on my list...

I am grateful for:
My precious family
My little grandkids
They make me smile
They make it worthwhile 
They make me feel
Like I am worthwhile 

The second on my list: 

This blessed Sabbath day
What more can I say?
I watched the setting of the sun
I know "Thy will be done!"
I honour You my Lord
I take You at your word
I seek and I do find
I see that you are kind
But Lord I do worry 
For so many that are blind!

The third: 

I am thankful for these tears
You take away my fears
You've carried me for years 
My Lord I love you

Baby brain

 It must have been "baby brain"

You know: that state of mind

Where you do something

That you quite forget about

Until many years have gone past

Other people get angry: abuse you

But you cannot seem to see!

I'd gone to the Kingston-on-Murray shop

Dad gave me some money that day

But for some silly reason I can’t explain

I booked it up: I didn't pay that way

Caused a lot of stress and confusion

They said to dad: "please pay this account"

Dad  rang me and I said: I'd paid!

I just couldn't understand it?

Why would they say I hadn't done it?

When I thought I had surely paid it!

Many years later on it came to me

Made me angry all over again

Until it clicked: until I knew it!

Oh dear Lord: I surely blew it!

That long forgotten memory returned

Oh how my face flushed: burned!

I am so sorry guys: I apologise!

I didn't pay and caused such a mess

I honestly didn't mean to do it!

Shown up by a 3 year old

Shown up by a three year old
Whoever would have thought?
Yes he showed me up "real good"
I was stumped by a simple thing
I just hadn't understood
Zac came along and in a flash
Had it all sorted out: put it together
Had it fixed: I just stood and looked!

The Perfect Parasite

A bloke we met said something
That to me had never occurred
Calling babies by a name that
I do confess I've never heard
"The perfect parasite" he said
Yes he really did say that word
Well I never: no not ever, ever
Thought to call any baby
By that word: absurd!
The perfect parasite!

Sorry Uncle Terry

 I’m sorry Uncle Terry

For the fine you got

Trying to ride your bike

Along the freeway

The Police caught you

As you started out

Saying “Sorry mate: no way!

You just cannot ride your bike

Along the big freeway!”

Oops wrong house

 Many years ago when Tim was working for Carpet Care

He and his off-sider “Gopher” Grant drove around the city

Cleaning carpets, travelling everywhere in that Bongo Van

He always did the best job that he could: the best any man can!

One day they arrived for another job somewhere

Knocked on the door and explained to the young man

“We’re here to clean the carpets, may we come in?”

They moved the furniture around ready to begin

Then, something made them check the address: just in case!

That’s when they realised they were in the wrong place!

So they left in a hurry: headed out the door

Leaving that furniture moved around: yes everywhere!

Imagine that poor young lad explaining to his mum

How two guys came to clean the carpets, chum!

The only thing that reminded me of that scenario

Was that the very same thing happened this year too!

We’d called a company to come and clean the roof

Gave them our address: thought it was foolproof!

But for some crazy reason they ended up next door

Upset our poor dear elderly neighbour: what uproar?

She called the cops in a panic: screaming down the phone

“Someone’s climbing on my roof: trying to break in!”

Three cop cars later, uniformed and plain clothes cops everywhere!

Those guys had to apologise profusely: had to say sorry to her!

Yes they were clearly in the wrong: silly old men!

Maybe next time they’ll check that written address

Then perhaps they won’t end up in such a terrible mess!

I know this is crazy: I know you’ll probably think I’m weird

But I knew it would happen: knew it all beforehand!

I saw it all happening: like in a daydream: yes it’s true

That they’d end up at the wrong house: yes I already knew!

Then to see it all happening right before my eyes

It was all just as I had seen it: no big surprise!

Cathartic tears

The tears I cry for you
Come pouring down
I cry for all the times
That you made me frown
What about joyful tears?
What about good times?
They seem so far away now
Those distant memories!

Crapateria (cafeteria)

Buying food at the cafeteria
What a waste of time and money
Tastes of absolute inedible crap
That's what I'm telling you honey
Tasteless, dry and unappetising
Why did I even bother thinking?
That it might be okay on any given day
I guess hunger got the better of me
When oh when will they see?
That healthy food is needed
Right here at our hospitals
God help you if indeed you need it
For visitors are often given that!
Yeah it was terrible, tasteless crap!

Pressure in my head

This damned pressure in my head
Makes me take to my comfy bed
Bright lights and noisy places
Make me pull some funny faces
Nothing seems to ease the awful pain
Until I massage away the tension
Please let me just try to explain
My eyesight is affected when it comes
Seems like a hammer going mad inside
Banging at my temples: banging everywhere
I want to scream and tear at my hair
Want take off this silly old head
Lay it down somewhere: leave it there
Until the pressure eases: until it wanes
Feels like I'll never ever be the same
Until peace comes back to me: peace remains
My one desire: my desperate aim
Dear Lord, please help me to stay sane!

Cacophony

Cacophony of sound 
Too many voices abound
Everybody trying to be heard 
Cannot understand even one word
Busy restaurants, the Royal Show 
Sometimes I just don't want to go
It gets too confusing: out of hand
Does anybody really understand?
The peace of beauty: the beauty of peace
Just want to run away and hide 
From civilisation; from city streets
Give me the quiet county side 
There I am happy: content to bide!

Ticket to ride

Dear Tim we missed you at the Royal Show
Just a short note to let you know
You are in our memories: our minds
Vanessa says hello, says she loves you so
She remembers all those past years: those times 
When you would take her by the hand 
Having so much fun on those old show rides
The Mad Mouse, the Matterhorn, the others too
Oh how much she loved going on those rides with you
You went on any ride she asked you to
Just being a great big kid: that was you
Yesterday we took a trip down memory lane
Went to the show but it just wasn't the same
We did it in your honour: tried to enjoy the day
But honey no matter what we did
It just wasn't the same! No it just wasn't the same!

Disillusioned

Sick of people just wanting to be "friends"
Only to just want to scam me in the end
What ever happened to "love your fellow man?"
Too many just don't seem to understand
Life's too short to go on hating everyone
I'm just trying to make a difference in people's lives
Just trying to brighten, uplift and expand
Their horizons: their whole life: their minds
Dear Jesus you are the light of this dark world
I'm here to tell my simple story: fill this void
Tell of your great love for all of humankind
How can so many people be so spiritually blind?

Tough times

Times are tough I know it's true

But this is what I'm asking you

Why does hate win when love should rule?

Why should anger be the most used tool?

I understand that things are difficult, hard

I understand how this world works, is torn apart

Too many care not who they hurt

Too many just have to win never lose

At everyone else's expense!

But what about your fellow man?

Is there nothing that can be done?

To ease their pain: to help them out?

Why should anger be the smoking gun?

How about a little care: understanding too?

Isn't love the most important thing?

Why should I have to ask again and again?

I'm sick of people pretending: yes every single day!

No genuine understanding comes into play!

What ever happened to honesty and love?

Sent to us through Jesus: from heaven up above?

Why cant they just get a job: not cheat and rob?

Why not try the decent way: yes I ask: I pray!

Too many people scamming others

Too many doing it all the wrong way

Taking advantage of the weak: leading by bad example!

You all know of what I speak: why not seek?

To do the right thing: to live by heart not head

How many care not who they use? 

How many care not who they abuse?

Too many! Too much! Too little! Too late!

Dagwood dogs and fairy floss

I remember Dagwood dogs and fairy floss
When going to the Loxton Show
Simple things stick in my memory
From long years ago when I was young
Yes it's true I'll have you know
Hot cinnamon donuts, burgers and greasy chips
All those things that are bad for you: you crave
They linger in your memories as you grow
The horses jumping around the tracks
The animals all on show: sights and smells
Yes all these things come back to me
As I wander around with my family
They take me back to my childhood
They are right there pressing close
As I see and hear and smell today
Yes they are clamouring in my brain
Childhood days from yesteryear
I remember them: just like yesterday!