Here with me

I am sharing my inner most pain 

Because I have to let it go: again
The things I've held inside for years
Are bringing me close to tears
But I cannot hold it in any longer
As I let each pain and fear escape
It only makes me stronger! 
Yes I was molested as a little girl
Yes it changed the way I see the world
Yes it hurt so much to hold it in
But now I must let it go: this life of sin
So as I share these darkest things
Please don't judge me as I begin
This journey must take place
This emptying of pain: this cleansing rain
Though painful to say the very least
I must release this terrible beast
It has eaten at my soul for years
It has followed me from west to east
Now as I finally cast these words upon the seas
I ask for understanding if you please
Just let me empty out this rubbish bin
Just let me loose this pain from within
I cannot hide it any longer
I must get it out to grow stronger
So lend your hearts and ears a while
Help me bare my soul a while
Listen and yes please understand
This life was never as I would have planned
Though my heart was troubled for so long
Now as I give it up to God: He understands
He has already washed me clean
His blood and tears were shed for me
Now as I cry these salty tears for me
For that innocent child I used to be
Though they number millions: drops in the sea
The peace I seek will comfort me
And though I was close to drowning underneath 
I will rise above the breakers: yes indeed
For my Lord and Saviour is right here with me