Beauty on the inside

Five months have passed already 
Since I lost my darling mum
Today my dad and I were talking 
Discussing women in a magazine
Everywhere we look we see them
Pimping, preening; demanding attention
The "ideal" of today's womanhood
Yet as dad said to me this very day
I agree; mum wasn't like these women
She was not empty like these stars
Her heart was full of love for her family
Her beauty was invisible to the naked eye
For you see; her beauty was on the inside...

A mother's gift of love

Ah these thoughts
Rushing round my head
Each time I think of you
I see red...
Your actions...
Your words...
I just cannot believe
That you are of my seed

Can a mother love too much?
Can a mother give too much?
Seems love should be 
Reciprocated; not delegated 
Not castigated...

Yet still I cannot
Understand your ire
I gave all I had to you 
Gave you your every desire

Spoilt you rotten
Gave every single thing 
How could it be?
That your words do sting 
Words keep popping up
into my poor head
Answers to your diatribes
Answers to that dread

One minute you are sweet
The next you are a beast
On minute: blessings
The next: your curses
Are falling at my feet
Your two faces; sadly I realise
Never seem to meet...

24 April 2017

Stepping back

I've felt a distance growing 

Felt my love just melt away

As I watched; realised; its showing 

Me; of your greed and all you crave

More and more; never ending

No matter how much you're spending 

It is never enough; I call your bluff

By simply staying away

I've felt the anger growing 

Felt my peace retreating; slipping away

As I see; your greed is glowing 

Like a heated furnace; smoking away

I stepped back a few steps

Retreated a few steps more

Honey; I used to love you

But now; you've driven me away...

I've felt the four walls closing in

Growing smaller each and every day

Sunny skies were clouding over

I just had to escape; had to get away

The distance between us; gaping 

A chasm opened up; beneath my feet

I had to jump clear; ah my dear one

Face to face; we could no longer meet...

I've felt my respect decreasing 
Felt my sadness grow; I must say
My heart is breaking; growing harder each day
No longer could I bear your demands
So I had to step even further away
Escape seemed my only recourse
Ah though it truly hurt me
I could no longer be near at hand...

29 April 2017

Cornered

Like a little dog
Being chased down
By a huge dog
More than twice her size
I felt cornered...
No longer will I run away
I have turned around
I will stand my ground
Facing into the fray
These words I say
"You will no longer
Treat me this way"

I feel like

I feel like 
A weight has finally been lifted
I feel like
I am finally free
I feel like 
My prison door has been opened
And I can finally be me...

Can you give too much?

Is it possible to give too much?

Too much love? I doubt it!

Too much trust? They sprout it!

Too much time; It is valued!

Too much money; Yes indeed! Greed

Too much food; It is deadly! Gluttony

Too much of oneself

 How can we understand the value of "too much"?

What measuring stick do we use?

Too much water becomes a flood

Too much wind becomes a gale

Too much heat becomes a blaze

Too much cold becomes an ice age

Can we truly love too much?

Too much love can become obsession

When do we reach "too much"?

Balance is the key...

The pot and the kettle

The pot and the kettle
Went out to dinner
In a beautiful outdoor fire
The coals were glowing 
As they set to blowing 
They soon released their ire
Words began a flowing 
As the wind was blowing 
Great storms in a teacup 
Heated; bubbled; brewed
Though they were equal
One stood over the other
You've heard the sequal
Much ado; fuss and bother
Spewing forth from hot steam
The moral of course is that
Black soot and ashes do stick 
Your tongue; no matter how slick
Harsh words are better left unsaid
Once spoken out loud; oh my head
Indeed they can't be undone...

Sunset on 2016

Sun setting on the last Sabbath
For 2016...end of one year
Beginning of the next...
How time flies by my love
It is gone now, never to return
In the blink of an eye
Life ends; changes; rearranges...
My mum is gone
All that remains is an empty shell
Her heart beats no longer
Her soul has flown
Yet we who remain behind
Will honour her memory
We will remember days long gone 
We will share a few tales
Share a little laughter
Shed a few tears...
Think about her in the coming year
Miss you mum...

31 December 2016

Passion for life

Passion for life its true
That's what we gotta do
Feel the tug of love's pull
Live life to the full...

2 March 2016

The simple things

Memories are made of the simplest things
Like puppy dogs and butterfly wings
A game my dad and I used to play
Way back long ago in my younger days
We didn't have much; truth to tell
A puppy called Pici I loved so well
A house that dad built with his own  hands
Right there upon newly owned lands
Three acres of lovely sultana vines
My almond tree I used to climb
Dad would play simple little games
Reciting words and silly rhymes
We'd play; laugh whenever we could
Ah I remember those days; so good
Dad would twist up a bundle of hair
Pretending it was a blowie flying there
He'd say the rhyme about the fly and
The big blowie; with sleight of hand
He'd buzz them round before my eyes
As a little child I was mesmerised...

Elder abuse

There's a new problem arising 
People taking things too far
Taking their parent's life; money 
Stealing their peace; families at war 
Thinking it as nothing; to demand
Their share; without a single care 
For their needs; for their welfare
The elderly; their supposed loved ones 
Being used; abused...
God help us; it's just not fair!
Elder abuse it is being called
On top of physical abuse
On top of mental; emotional abuse
It never seems to end
This eternal lifelong warfare...

A house divided

It is such a crying shame
When people forget
From whence they came
Ah the pain of regret
When families are split
Peace no longer reigns
Life no longer fits
In the way of love; genuine
A house divided unto itself
No love lost; between family
It's pieces left upon the shelf
No peace; only hate; calamity
Harsh words bandied forth
Instead of love and kindness
There is only hatred; wrath
Ah dear Lord the world's blindness
In these awful, crazy latter days
People with no thought for others
Wars of words; beneath the sun's rays
Anger toward sisters and brothers
God help us all here on earth
Where there is no respect
For those who gave us birth?
Hearts bereft; lives left derelict...

When all the noise is gone

Peace within my heart, soul

When all the noise is gone 

Quietness within my brain

As I try to understand; alone 

Right here within I see 

This blessed peace given me 

Dear Jesus gave his life for mine 

Gave up His place at our Lord's side

Just so I could finally be free

Justified; ah dear Lord how I cried

When I truly realised; the best 

Had taken up my cross for me 

Had opened up His veins for me 

Shed His blessed tears for me 

Ah how my tears did flow 

Just exactly when I did know 

My Lord; what thou hast done for me...

7 years

I can't believe it's already been 
7 years since I cried my tears
Dear Lord I lifted up my eyes
Cried out; felt weak; paralysed
Told you all my deepest fears
Begged forgiveness; realised
I was nothing without you...
Without your most precious gift
I said "Dear Lord, forgive me
I am useless; weak; hear me weep
No good to my earthly family
No good to you my Father; true"
I was ill; I was demoralised
Yes it was right then and there
I realised...
I was nothing
I was but an empty shell
Living in this; my earthly hell
But you promised me that I was loved
I was worthy of more from up above
You gave me a gift of words to write
After I told you of my plight
You said "I can use you"
Write for me dear daughter mine
I said "But Lord what will I say?"
Of course my dear Lord replied
"Do not worry; I will give you the words"
And so my journey thus began
Writing of my anguish; my pain
How could I ever hope to explain
These words that tumble from my lips
These words that I type with my fingertips
Are blessed and come from heaven up above
Poured out into my earthly heart; with love!


8th May 2017 it has been 7 years since I cried out unto the Lord...

Somewhere to lay your flowers

I need a special place to go
Somewhere I can truly show
Just how much to mean to me
Ah mum I miss you so...
Your ashes wait upon the mantle piece
An ugly plastic vessel; therein you lie
Until some future day; God only knows 
When our family will inter your ashes...
Until then I must hold all within my heart
These tears continually threaten to fall
Whenever I think of you at all...
Soon I will take some carnations
Hold them close to my heart
And lay them; there upon your grave
Kneel before you and pray...
That one day; soon; we may meet again
God willing; up there in blessed heaven...

Chingatchkook

Saw a giant serpent; cobra in the sky
Mouth extended; opened extremely wide
Venom like a mist displayed; arrayed
Spewing forth from it's massive divide
Darkness sprayed across the earth
Chingatchkook; if ever there was a dream
Heard that evil voice just like an eerie scream
The sky was showing me what was to come
Truly; it was a vision for as the day wore on
Stress within me grew and grew; cos of you
More bad tidings were to come; this I knew
Later on the words I did read; ah pain
How could you be so evil; full of hate
You ungrateful evil soul; you ingrate!

I choose

Fear has two meanings
Forget everything and run
Or
Face everything and rise

I choose 
To face everything and rise
I choose 
To step over the stones
I choose
To remain strong and free
I choose
The life I want for me

Walking in the rain

Walking in the rain
Along  the muddy trail
Needed to explain
Needed to exhale
Turmoil in my heart
Worry in my head
About all this mess
All those words you said...

Bluff to King's Beach 

Turning 60

Had my birthday recently
60 years under my belt
Don't feel much older; wiser
Certainly am feeling more content
Saw the doctor; I do declare
Asked for a few routine tests
"Check everything you think I need"
Wow; I'll even jump through hoops
Checked my BP; 126/62
Checked my bloods; fasted overnight 
(cholesterol 5; glucose 4.8)
ECG; no problem there; heart strong
Mammogram was arranged; done
Results to come...
Recently had my eyes checked too!
Bowel screening suggested; ooh!
Even Skintech popped into the mix
Checking all my box of tricks
Ah, who'd have thought there was
So very much to do...

Purged

Try though I tried 

Tears I have also cried 

You left me to wallow

Forced to swallow 

Such a bitter pill

Driven away and still

Used and abused

Now I refuse to flee

Refuse to bow down my knee

I purge you from my life 

Urge you to get a life 

Leave me alone to grieve 

Your words I cannot believe 

Thought your love was true 

Now I see the real you 

Purged; now I'm finally free

Now just leave me be 

You don't own me

Lesley Gore sang these words 
Way back in the 1960's; true
Now I repeat these 
Very same words to you 
"You don't own me 
Don't tell me what to do 
You don't own me 
Don't tell me what to say"
Cos I want to live my life 
Without you pushing me someway
I have a right to go my way
You have no right to lay blame 
No, you don't own me 
Don't make me feel this way 
You don't own me 
Don't put me on display 

Blessed Mother's Day

My prayer for mothers everywhere
Is simple; a family who cares...

To wake up to sunshine...
Maybe even to gentle rain...
To enjoy love sublime...
But certainly not pain...

May love abound from within
May your heart beat; long 
Warm kisses upon your cheeks
Little arms embrace you; long...

Cuddles from fur babies
Sloppy kisses too...
From all your babies
Let them come to you...

Happy smiles and laughter
From loving sons; loving daughters
Whether you birthed them or no
Let your love flow...

No need for rich gifts
Simple hugs; cuddles will do
Spending time together
Having a happy day
Through and through

For those mums no longer here
Gone to God; I pray; through tears
I think of you upon this day
I miss you; I love you dear...

Mother's Day is coming

Mother's Day is coming 

Mother's Day is almost here

A special day to thank 

Dear mothers everywhere

How do you say your "thank you"?

What special treat do you share?

With your precious, darling mother

As you celebrate with cheer

Do you buy her chocolates?

Do you give scented perfume dear?

Are red roses her preference?

Or is it warm slumber wear?

A pair of soft, fluffy slippers

Maybe something for her hair

What about breakfast in bed?

A special meal somewhere

Or do you celebrate in memories?

About long ago bygone days

No matter how you show her

No matter what it is you say

Just remember to thank her

For giving blessed love your way

On this and each and every

Second Sunday in May

Happy Mother's Day!

Thoughts and feelings of mum

Deep thoughts
Deeper feelings
Four months have passed
Since I saw you last
Ah mum I miss you
I truly wish you
Were not gone and
Wish you could hear me
Know you were so dear to me
Next Sunday is Mother's Day
Wish you hadn't gone away
Wish I could call you
Talk to you; enthral you
With tales of your grandchildren
With...so many conversations...

28th April 2017

Ode to Jim Croce

Memories come flooding back
As I listen to each and every 
Beautiful; magical track
Ah Lord 'tis such a crying shame
That so beautiful a soul
Has left this world behind...

"Time in a bottle"
These words tug at my heart strings
At the memories I love to replay
Over and over and over again

"I'll have to say I love you in a song"
His sweet voice; how I remember it so
It's only now I know who sang it

"I got a name"
The guitar; the voice
I had no choice
But to love the melodies...

"Bad , bad Leroy Brown"
Who could forget?
We all sang along
To that amazing song

Sea Mist

Great Southern Ocean breezes
Blowing from frozen Antarctic seas
Never ceasing; rolling; rumbling
SO huge a distance; truly humbling
There is simply nothing in between
But cold, empty, merciless green
A sea mist keeps rolling in
Amid the never ending din...

Message in a basket

Found a little handmade basket 
Washed up along the shore
Thought it was a bird's nest
Turned out to be so much more
Someone had made an effort
Tied all together with coloured string
A cuttlefish for a bird to eat?
An amazing petrified seahorse...
Long straws artfully woven together
Fox-tail grass in patterns underneath
Maybe the work of a little girl
Maybe from across the seas
Made me look in absolute wonder
At this amazing little contraption
Caught up among straggly branches
Of the dried out old ghostly tree...

More than just coincidence

20 May 2011

Had a "Thank you Lunch"  the other day from LCC

(Lutheran Community Care)

Maggie Beer was the guest speaker...

She is 66 and is so busy, travelling all over the world...

I asked her: "when you mentioned "taking chances"

in your life, do you believe in coincidence or do you believe 

that there is a higher power that leads you where you need yo go?"

Maggie was unable to say much; but her eyes misted up and she was silent.

I know that God is there and leads me where I am needed!

Missing mum 28 April 2017

Lately I've been upset
Feeling so lost; alone

Oh mum, I miss you
Wish you were back home
Some days; grief overtakes me
The pain of loss; complete
Wish I could turn back time
Sit next to you upon a sunny seat
Morbid thoughts are chasing me
As sadness rears its ugly head
It's my auntie's birthday today (28th April)
And 4 months since I sat beside your bed
Seems so long ago; and yet
It still feels so raw...
Can't believe I feel so sad
Oh mum, wish you'd walk in through my door...

Wisdom teeth

Wisdom teeth? 
Does wisdom come with time? 
Does it come with cutting teeth?
Or is it brought forth through pain?
Why do we need "wisdom" teeth?
Aren't we smart enough in life?
Aren't we growing through strife?
All I've seen throughout my life
Is that "wisdom" teeth 
Bring even more pain; more strife
More trouble that what they're worth
Certainly not there to help from birth
My bottom wisdom teeth never came 
My top wisdom teeth arrived 
In the very centre of the roof of my mouth
They surfaced; caused nothing but pain
One came through easily enough
The other had to be excised; dug out in pain
Friends have suffered throughout the years 
Entering hospital; returning in tears 
Having all four removed at once 
Knocked out; in hospital; pain many over days 
Anaesthetic; pain relief; pain beyond belief
I ask; of what use are these wisdom teeth?

User abuser

User, abuser
What is it that you seek?
Taking advantage
Thinking I am weak
Taking everything you desire
Leaving nothing; left behind
Though I gave all; willingly
It never seemed enough
Now it is evil words
That; your lying tongue speaks

Time in a bottle

Cored up tightly
I seek it nightly
Treasured insights
Heartfelt delights
These memories of you

If only my love
I could seek you above
No longer do you reside
Right here beside
Ah these thoughts of you

I open up my heart within
Pictures of smiles
Herein they begin
Gone all the while
Painfully I rewind you

If I could save time in a bottle
I'd relive so many days
Revisit each precious day
I'd save it for loving you
Yes, I'd relive all those days with you