If I should die tomorrow

If I should die tomorrow
If all of my days are gone
I'll have lived and loved through sorrow
This will have been my final song

I have lived through many decades
I have swallowed my pride anon
And through all this I've followed
The beat of my very own drum

I have given my heart to another
I have borne my children as well
Some days were like I was in heaven
While others were like a living hell

I was never one to be bothered
I was much more the quiet one
And though I was led by others
I am glad to have seen the sun

Though shy and retiring and quiet
I could stand up to anyone
Without uttering a single word; my darling 
I changed things; my stubbornness won

I felt battered and bruised and blackened
When I could not back down from fun
At times I did cause a blooming riot
As I acted and played the clown anon

I gave all I had; to be counted
For I was so desperate to please
Kept quiet when I could have shouted
It became and insidious disease

Ah if only I could change colours
I would become red with rage
Fighting the wrongs of this lifetime
But soon now; I'll tremble with age

No longer fearful; cowardly; yellow
I am finding my feet once again
Daring to say what I'm feeling 
Instead of keeping it hidden in pain

Too long have I held my temper
Thought it better to leave words behind
Couldn't face all the aggravation
I only wanted to be thought of as kind

Now; as mortality suddenly hits me
Now; as I see beyond my fears
It is painfully clear as the new day dawning 
I must stand up; count all my tears

How much can one woman bear
As she struggles to make amends
How far must she really travel?
Before her life on this earth ends...