Bitter-sweet symphony

Sitting in my lounge chair, listening to Hayley Warner sing The Verve's: Bitter-sweet Symphony, I was overcome by a wonderful tingling sensation all over my body. Thank You Hayley for giving me inspiration: for being my muse. I have been struggling to find an appropriate title for my story & wondering how to reach out to all the young people going through their teens today. I know you are suffering just like I did in the 1970's because nothing has really changed. Teens are still going through the same emotions & worries that I was back then. They are still finding it difficult to find a place where they fit in. They are still suffering the teasing & bullying that I suffered going through puberty over 30 years ago.

Please hear me & learn from my mistakes! Life is too short to make all of those mistakes yourself. Please join me on my journey & listen to & understand what I went through & hopefully make a few less mistakes yourselves. I made enough for us all! I still remember, like yesterday; all the fears & excitement that went hand in hand with those unbelievable hormone surges that forever changed me from an innocent child into  teen tear-away & finally an adult. Yes, those days when my brain pathways were as yet incomplete; those days of terror & excitement; fear & elation; that emotional roller coaster of my teens that never seemed to end.

I was teased at school because I didn't wear a bra: didn't need to! I was tiny, having never gotten to 5 ft & skinny with it. No boobs therefore no bra! Simple! I thought so until two well endowed girls decided to make my life a misery because I was different to them. were they prefect? I didn't think so, so why did they decide to pick on me? I don't know? But thanks girls for making me realise that I was different! Thanks for helping me embark on life's wonderful teen roller-coater ride feeling lees than I was supposed to be; according to you! Yes! According to you!

Where did you two get off making me feel so awful? Didn't I already feel inadequate because I was short; my ears stuck out; my nose was too big; I had acne & my aunty had given me a terrible haircut & perm & I was a Wog! Thanks for pointing out more of my failings. Thanks for making my shift to high school such a wonderful fun time! Not! I really appreciate it! Not!

I was just a normal teenager, trying to cope with going to a bigger school of 900 after going through primary school in a tiny public school where we had about 30 kids. We'd had the year 1's & 2's in one classroom; the 3's, 4's & 5's in the second room & the 6's & 7's in the final room. Not much choice in the way of friends or enemies for that matter either! Not much choice for anything really! 

Considering that my parents has left Hungary with nothing but the clothes on their backs during the '56 revolution: I thought I'd done really well!  I was good at school because I loved learning & even got first in my grade a few times through out my primary school years. Not bad considering I had to help mum & dad learn English. They were in no position to help me or my brother because they'd come to Australia with no knowledge of the country or language that they were to speak. Being New Australians they did what ever work was available & were happy to have a job & earn money to support their little family.

When I was young I never fully appreciated what my teen parents went through to leave their entire family & migrate to a completely new country so far away from everyone & everything they knew & loved. Now as a grown up I finally understand & appreciate what they gave up to provide us with a better life. I could not move to a new country so far from my family. I could not leave my parents & family to live on the opposite side of this earth. Sorry but I'm too much of  a chicken to even move to another state in the same country! I'm so proud of you mum & dad!

High school! Sounds so simple doesn't it? Just another part of life; a continuation of our studies from primary school to secondary to tertiary etc but there's also the physical & mental changes we are undergoing as we progress from one school to the next: from one age to the next. Nobody warned us about the emotional changes that were coming. Nobody told us that as children we were perfectly made to cope with what life was throwing at us then. At 10 & 11 we were better equipped to handle life as it was then. Now in our teens; let's toss in emotional, hormonal, physical & vocational changes & mix it al together. Let's put it all into a tumble dryer & turn it on!  That's what it is like in high school! Help!!!!!!!