What was I thinking?

What was I thinking: after having my son?
All those years ago now: it has been so long!
Wearing those black leggings with a baggy T
How did I ever think it was a good look?
I guess I was in denial: out of my mind!
Thinking to hide my ballooning weight
Behind my unhappy smile (PND was my excuse!)
I did have Post Natal Depression: unable to cope
It was a difficult time to navigate: what a state!
Those feelings of unhappiness: self hate!
I thought it was just my age: after all I was 38!
Already had my two girls: thought it would be great
But I overdid it all the gym work: all that exercise
I couldn't see my plight: had lost my self-vision!
Looking back at that pregnancy photograph
My wan face; sunken cheeks: how could I not see?
It was right there in front of me: my eyes were blinded
Didn't even realise until it was too late: my fate
After that fantastic pregnancy; as depression kicked in!
Exhaustion from lack of sleep: too much on my plate!