3 months

It's been 3 months since you went away
We've been so sad I must say: today
Is the third month since that very day
The sadness has come, seems to stay
In between the rain clouds comes the sun
In between the sadness: a little fun
Some days are like thunderstorms
Some are like the gusty winds of war
I want to go on living but true to form
I think of you and am swallowed: as in tar
I feel so down and wonder why
Yes "Why?" Why did you have to die?
I am listless, unsmiling, depressed
Who ever would have guessed
Past regrets come tumbling down
Have me feeling sad: I frown!
But as I read more and more
I wonder what the lord has in store
For me, for my family: what next?
When will this sadness end: I am vexed
Is there life after death: will you return?
In my mind I want to know: questions burn!
I hear of people recalling their past lives
Remembering other families, wives
Is it true? What do I know? Not enough!
How do you call God's bluff?