Addiction

All my life I have watched 
Others with their addictions
Formed my opinions...
Went upon my way
Though I watched: commiserated
Felt their struggles: their pain
Knowing full well I couldn't help them
Be over comers: was estranged...
Heard smokers coughing  
Watched others lives
Going down the drain...
In seeing: beholding: understanding
I thought I could avoid it: abstain
But in hindsight I am condemned
To seeing no advancement
For in my observations I was mistaken
Witnessing others predilections
Never realising I had my own...
Addictions: my afflictions: my pain
My scars are on the inside...
Never seeing the light of day...
"Tis only now that I can face these
Terrible addictions...
These fears that I cannot contain
I need to find my freedom: need liberating
I need to unlock these heavy chains
Need to jettison this extra baggage
For I need to move forward
Need to make some major changes
I cannot stay here any longer
I must be able to escape this pain...
At these crossroads I am waiting
Ready to choose a new direction
Where there is only positive thinking
Only good thoughts to entertain...