The tears I cannot hide

My mind is like a whirlpool
All twisting and twirling round
It seems as if there are voices
Coming from afar
The sound is dim yet getting louder
It's like I'm in a spin
Like I've fallen into a deep dark pit
Where there is no sun shining in!
It is from a distance that I hear that voice
The urgent whisper gets louder as I begin to stir
But it still remains faceless, as if in a blur
The voice of my Lord is calling
I answer and say "Here I am Lord!"
Please show me how to share your love!
The beautiful voice is calling
It calls to me still!
The urgency is heart wrenching
The life is in the quill!


As I write as I am bidden
This urgency to tell!
Please hearken to His voice
I do not tell a lie
I don't know why I am chosen
But it is do or die!
Please listen to His loving voice
Pleas do not tarry long!
Can you not understand?
Can you not see the strife?
Do you not understand?
You are given but one life!
Hear you not the trumpet?
Know you not that time is short?
His life He gave for all of us
For you and me as well! 


Now as time is darkening
Can you not understand?
How His precious blood He shed!
For you and me as well!
The price is paid already!
The effort has been made!
Why then will you not answer?
Your blood and tears in return give?
How can the dearest master think to come again?
When there are still so many
Not ready to give their love and time
For His precious deeds!
Can you not hear His tears in heaven?
Can you not realize?
To make all His pain worthwhile
We must answer His great call!


I read the words in the book El Shaddai
And as the words did enter
My still befuddled mind
I could see it all in slow motion
The tears of pain upon His cheeks
As He carried that great load
Up to Calvary's peak!


When I looked back upon my own useless life
And saw what I had done
My tears they flowed like rivers
I could not stop the flow!
Because as I surrendered
And looked into His heart
It was there I saw written
My sins all laid bare!
The pain I'd caused my Lord!
All the worry He had suffered!
All the tears that He had shed!
My life was as nothing
To my tormented mind
The pain of my sins and wasted life
Were as stabbing knives!
Into His precious flesh!


Oh Lord I am so sorry!
Oh Lord I am so distressed!
For the pain that I have caused You
For the precious blood You shed
Oh Lord please forgive me
I know not what I've done
When taking all for granted
When being selfish and hard hearted
I did those things to You!


How my heart did hurt me then
For the pain I caused to You
My sobs were so terrible
So deep and painful too
For my sins that hurt my dearest Lord
All those things I could not undo!


"El Shaddai" by Kenneth E Hagin