Pissed as a newt

Australians have a silly language
It's crazy maybe: even a little cute
My hubby was a bit silly many years ago
Got as drunk as a skunk: pissed as newt
He was a bit too merry: not really very cute
Got pulled over by the coppers: breathalysed
Ended up spending the night in the cooler
It was winter time: our baby was a few months
He wanted me to get a taxi: come & pick him up
Poor thing: didn't want to stay there at all
Too bad the copper said: "let him cool his heels"
I didn't want to take my baby out into the cold
So I let him take the consequences of his silliness
Let him sit & stew a bit: silly man: if you muck around?
You have to pay the price: I guess I wasn't very nice
But he was supposed to learn his lesson: cop it sweet
I realise he needed to take some time to think on it
Silly man! He was pissed as a newt: too drunk to think
So he had to wait all night until he was released!