Rape

Just been reading some old letters and stuff
And realized that there was something hiding
In the back of my mind; barely hanging on
A little split second if repressed memory
About me as a young and naive teen
Who thought that everyone was just like me!
Honest and truthful; shy and reclusive!
But in the big city I found it so different!
So sterilized and un-human like
So un-friendly and way different to what I knew
So I assumed that everyone would be nice
Like people in th ecountry; how wrong I was!
I found my loneliness made me a victim
Of users; abusers; unscrupulous males!
I found myself in situations i'd never been in before
Preyed upon by men with one agenda
To get what they could and leave me
Silly little me; the country mouse
Unaware of the big city rats!

You've probably heard that vulgar saying
"No root; no ride!"
Well it happened to me too!
I admit to being stupid; I admit to being used
I admit that I was abused!

We'd been in a group at The Wellington Hotel
In the city of North Adelaide
Had a few drinks amd when we all went
To their friend's house; I didn't feel too good
So I decided to stay and catch forty winks in the car.
Next thing I knew the car was moving
And I was being taken
And forced into having sex at West Beach
The ultimatum was "No root; No ride!"
I didn't know where we were
I'd never been in the big city before
He treatened to leave me there in the dark
Alone and frightened unless I surrendered
So what could I do?
I siurendered out of fear of being left there
Alone in the dark!
When the car got back to the house
And everyone had missed us
I was too ashamed to admit what had happened
I was too ashamed to say that I'd been raped!

I couldn't admit to my boyfriend
That someone else had had sex with me
That I'd beem stupid enough to stay in the car
That I was frightened of being left alone in the dark
At a strange place in the big city
I was ashamed to tell the truth
He was the one who should have been ashamed!
Not me!

I could never tell him what happened
I could never say that I'd been raped!
It's not something you feel proud of
So I never told; I kept it hidden inside!
Never to be mentioned ever again!
Until now!

Now I know it wasn't my fault!
He'd done it all before; but no-one was willling to tell
For fear of having to tell everyone of our stupidity!