Staring at the ceiling

I woke up this morning
Was simply: staring at the ceiling...
Contemplating this; my life
Lying there in my warm bed
So many crazy thoughts alight
Within my mind: my brain awash
With everything: with nothing
I was thinking about my days
From the day of my birth
Yes: this life: upon this earth
If this is my journey: my path...
How much more is there to come?
How much have I already undergone?
How much more pain and sorrow?
How much more love and laughter?
Until I deem myself worthy of God's love...
Until I deem myself worthy of the hereafter...
Does life simply continue on and on?
Does it get easier or will I descend...
On what does all of this depend?
I feel I have already been drawn down
Into the darkness of that deepest pit
Now I only wish my feet be set upon 
That upward path: that higher road
To my redemption: to my glory...
What of this: my life: my story...
I know it must be my testimony...
I must tell of all... 
My Lord has already done for me...
You see: it is He: who has already set me free...