Disgusted with myself

I feel so miserable at the moment: I'm a mess
So fed up with everything: can't seem to cope
I'm just such a pain to be around: grumpy old cow!
Really I've been such a bitch: I must admit!
Cranky about everything: making a mess 
Dropped a tray of biscuit's I'd just made up
Got so angry at myself because of that
Please forgive me Lord for being such a grouch
Some days I just don't want to get off the couch
What is the matter with me? Why so miserable?
Where is my faith in God through all of this?
What has happened to cause me so much pain?
My mum is ill with leukaemia: that's my beef!
I feel like I just can't get any relief! Yet it's not me who's ill!
Still I find this a very bitter pill to swallow for sure!
Is there a cure? What can be done? How much time?
Lord please forgive me for my doubts: I am so lost
Please be beside me as I wallow in my fear
Please be my strength for I have none
Please forgive me for my outbursts: please help me now
I don't want to go around being upset: being a cow
I need your constant aid to get me through
Without you all I really seem to do: is complain
I need to realise that there are so many more 
Worse off than my little family: I need to understand
That sometimes I cannot see the greater picture
After all I am just a silly little human being
I am not much good for anything: I am so lost
Without you dearest Lord I am but a silly ant
Wandering around here on this great wide world
Hardly worth the space I take up in my life
Lord please lead me safely through all this strife!