Tears of sadness & joy

I just watched a short video of my daughter talking to her baby
Dear Little Evaleah talked back to her mummy: goo-ing & ga-ing
Now my tears are flowing: they will not stop: I guess I need to let it all out
I have been trying so hard not to cry: since my mum was diagnosed
I wouldn't let myself: maybe fearing I could not stop!
Well now my tears are flowing: for so many things: mum's illness (leukaemia)
My fears for her life: I don't want to lose her just yet
There are so many more things I want to say & do with her
I cannot bear to think that this is the end! Please Lord I beg
Don't take my mum away from us yet! I need to have her for just a little bit
I'm also crying for my hubby's problems: diabetes, early onset dementia
Depression & hearing loss: I cannot do everything on my own!
My son wants to move out of home: wants to begin his own life!
I want to be strong & let him go but another part of me 
Wants to hang on to what we've got: I don't want to lose the plot!
My precious daughter has her own family: what a wonderful blessing she is
We get along so well! We finish each other's sentences at times!
That really makes me smile: I love you my darling Vanessa!
I am so proud of you: you are such a good mum to your children!
My other daughter doesn't believe in prayers: I am at a loss
She used to be so close to God as a young child: precious little girl
I feel sad that life has led her away from you my Lord!
But I know that she will come back one day: like that parable of old
"My son was lost but now he is found
My son was dead but now he is alive
Let us kill the fatted calf to celebrate!" 
How I long to shout those words out to you 
When she finally comes back into the fold
Yes my dearest Lord: I need to cry my tears
I need to let go of all my fears & trust again
For You my dearest one are everything to me & mine
I long to sit beside you: at your precious feet
For there I know happiness reigns: I am complete!